Tuesday, May 31, 2011

o.o

It's rare that I put an emoticon as the title of a post (actually...I'm pretty sure this is the first time...) but that is precisely how I feel at this moment.

Sure, I did pretty well on my practice exam today considering all the distractions (pretty much every member of my family popping in and out of my room every 5 minutes) that I thought had completely wrecked section 2 of the test (which, ironically, was the one I did the best on)...but I'm feeling the slight flutters of panic setting in because I only have 5 more full days to prepare.

O.O!!!

Of course, I entrust the results of the exam to the Big Man Upstairs, and even if I have to retake it, I know that God has been super lenient on me this past month by making it less stressful to study at home than I had anticipated, making time for me to veg out/relax every so often so I wouldn't burn out, giving me bursts of motivation when I'm ready to just pass out on my bed. I just hope that I haven't wasted crucial amounts of time (cuz of course, being the typical college student, I did slack here and there on some days).

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay. haha :)

I'm currently looking at this sitting in front of me (a souvenir plaque/license-plate-material thing I bought from a summer vacation back in high school):


And yeah. She's right. She's always been right, haha.

Let's do this!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

see, i wrote this for you

You know who you are, or maybe you don't yet. But I just wanted to share a few facts+plans with you for future reference:

1. I've lived a pretty sheltered life so far, so I want to do more "fun" living-life-to-the-fullest type things, like going on a road trip, backpacking in Europe, climbing onto rooftops, and hopping movies. So...let's go on adventures.
2. Classical music actually means a lot more to me than I let on (I have played violin for 16+ years at the moment), so even if the orchestra bores you now, I hope you come to appreciate it too.
3. I'm behind the camera more often than in front of it because I like taking photos (am I any good? That's for you to decide.) But to be honest, that doesn't mean I don't like being photographed. I just don't like being photographed poorly. Yes, my left side (your right) is my "good" side. No, I'm not narcissistic...I promise.
4. I love ice cream and I love coffee and I love Mexican food. If we get all three in one day, that would be the best food day ever.
5. I don't care if you don't care for Zooey Deschanel and/or Joseph Gordon Levitt. I will make you watch 500 Days of Summer with me someday.
6. I really like the feeling of driving. But if you don't trust my skillz because I am an Asian woman, I won't mind if you drive, as long as you let me pick the music.
7. Whether you actually went to this school or not, again, I don't care. We are (coming back and) walking down Locust Walk together at some beautiful point during the year so I can feel like a college student again. (But preferably summer or past 10 PM when there aren't too many people around and/or people shoving flyers for shows I will not go to.)
8. I'm pretty creepy, so don't be surprised if I know something you thought I didn't know. It just means I care :) To make things fair, I'll just assume you never read this and be genuinely (and pleasantly) surprised when you suggest we do something on this list. Because honestly, as much as I like making plans, I hope you know that you making plans will indicate, at least for me, that you care.

And as for everyone else who isn't you, this list isn't as exclusive as I make it out to be. Let's do fun things together too :)

Monday, May 23, 2011

america, america

The United States is a great nation, no doubt — as "the land of the free and the home of the brave", home to the "American Dream", and a nation carved out of principles of equality and the pursuit of personal happiness, America has a lot of things to be proud of. Though we often take our surroundings for granted, just look towards the Grand Canyon or the skyscrapers of New York or even the quiet patches of rural Georgia...it really is "America the Beautiful."

But I've been feeling pretty burdened for this nation at various points this past year, and it suddenly hit me pretty hard yesterday while I was praying how much I had neglected this burden to pray. This country, our country, is broken, steeped in sin that we leave to fester because of societal pressures and twisted invocations of the terms "tolerance" and "freedom." I thought D.A. Carson (quoted on the Desiring God blog) put it quite aptly when he wrote:
"We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; we drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; we drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated."
Though he was writing about human nature in general, I think these natural drifts are quite applicable to the American people. I only had to experience the immense difficulties of finding a strong church in our capital, Washington D.C., last summer, and I immediately understood the dire spiritual state of this nation.

We, as a nation that glorifies self-acceptance&love ideologically and yet profits from self-deprecation (read: advertisements+products) and displacement of self-worth onto material possessions and popularity, have perverted the idea of God's unconditional love and His open embrace into one that suggests that God accepts sin, loves wrong, turns a blind eye to the shortcomings we refuse to repent from. If you want proof from the mainstream media, turn to no other than pop idol Lady Gaga's "Born This Way", which claims proudly in the chorus, "I'm beautiful in my way/cuz God makes no mistakes" (truth, God doesn't make mistakes), but then goes on to say that "A different lover is not a sin, believe capital H-i-m" (false, a "different" lover IS a sin and the Bible aka God's Word makes that super clear). Of course, God does love people no matter where they've been or what they've done, but if you are truly to be in an intimate relationship with God and you're not just thinking temporary comfort but an eternal bond guaranteed by the redemptive power of Christ's death, then it goes beyond just having a nice warm and fuzzy Father figure patting you on the head and saying, "It's okay! I LOVE you. And because I love you, you can be and do whateeever you want." I'm sure child psychologists would agree that that kind of loose and indulgent human parenting would only lead to one heck of a messed up child. We need to know that being separated from the Father absolutely stinks, that our actions and attitudes merit this eternal separation, BUT through Christ, who died and experienced this separation (albeit temporarily) in our place, we don't have to. We can approach the Father, who has always loved us but can now truly accept us as sons and daughters thanks to Jesus' atoning sacrifice.

In the aftermath of all this rapture business, one friend commented to me, "Now it'll be even harder to evangelize." Perhaps. Perhaps Christianity has (yet again) been made into a farce in the eyes of our nation, but that shouldn't be a discouragement — and I'm speaking to myself as well, fully acknowledging that I am super shy (and lazy) about evangelism and I am way too PC and unwilling to push buttons and dig deeper whenever we have to go out for servant evangelism with GCC. In fact, it should produce a greater urgency to speak out the truth, now that at least the idea — however comical or absurd the predictions were — of Christ's return is on the radar.

I don't know how much of this resonates with anyone else, but I do know that when I pick up the NYTimes every morning and I rifle through all the stories of chaos and destruction going on in every corner of this the world, I can't help but feel like there is something very, very wrong, and we are in immense need of God's mercy. So yeah, I'm not particularly good at thinking macro-level when it comes to God's plans since I'm usually really (selfishly) wrapped up in my own concerns and interpersonal relationships to even consider how to start praying for something as big as a nation of peoples, let alone a city, but if any of this resonates with you, I would really appreciate if you would join me in praying for this nation that so desperately needs prayers without even realizing how desperate it really is.

P.S. I came upon this article from 2005 (I can't believe that's already 6 years ago...) and I thought it was an interesting read, though I'm not totally in love with its main point - The Christian paradox: How a faithful nation gets Jesus wrong

Saturday, May 21, 2011

if you want to woo me...

...this would be the song! seriously. AH. I had forgotten how cute this song was, and while putting together my new tumblr (uyrs.tumblr.com) I thought that this would be the perfect theme song!

PLUS this video is super cute. YAY way to perk up my day of continued studies :)


Thursday, May 19, 2011

let's go back to simpler times

For what it's worth, the computer is a great invention, and even more so, the Internet is a revolutionary, AMAZING invention. (Otherwise, you wouldn't be reading these words right now. whoooOOoOooa.)

But today was really nice, being away from technology and just sitting downstairs with my study materials and a book to read for fun. I remember growing up entertaining myself with books and a pen+notebook, not online games/conversations or Youtube. If I had to communicate with someone, I usually had to call or see them in person; if I did get to go on AOL (old school, mang), I'd have a 3 hour time limit, so I had to plan my conversations wisely.

What happened to the days of writing letters and passing them along when you passed by each other in the hallway?
What happened to borrowing books from the local library and not getting up from your seat until you've finished the whole book in one sitting?
What happened to developing photos, sticking them in albums, and rifling through them with friends?
Why has everything become so instantaneous, dictated by typing in some words and the click of a mouse? By a few taps on my phone?

And...okay, sappy/nostalgic/old-timer blurb over. (Sounds like something a 40-year-old or a 60-year-old would write...LOL)

Sure, I miss people and I miss hanging out with them and hearing from them, but sometimes, it's nice to shut out the world every once in a while. Of course, that doesn't mean that I want to be left alone and left out lolll but it was nice being un-distracted by the world of procrastination and flashy images for once.

I'm going to be sitting at a computer for multiple hours a day for the rest of my life (until I retire...and even then, if I endeavor to write a novel then, I will definitely be staring at a computer screen even more), so I better take my breaks when I can get them! wooooo :)

Thursday, May 12, 2011

the battle is the Lord's

As I was praying last night, I felt really convicted of two sets of Bible books&numbers, Exodus 24:7, 17 and Genesis 24:7, 17.
Exodus 24:7 reads: "Then he took the Book of the Covenant and read it to the people. They responded, 'We will do everything the LORD has said; we will obey.'"

Exodus 17 is two-parted: the first is about Moses getting water from the rock because "the Israelites quarreled and because they tested the LORD saying, 'Is the LORD among us or not?'" and the second is about Joshua defeating the Amalekites only because Moses held up the staff of God.

Genesis 24:7 is about Isaac's wife, Rebekah, and how she was set apart for him by the LORD. Abraham says, "The LORD, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father’s household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’—he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there."

Genesis 17 is about God's covenant of circumcision with Abram, in which He gives Abram&Sarai name changes and promises the "impossible" birth of Isaac that will help fulfill the promise that Abraham and Sarah's names will be made great.
As I read those verses in that order, I came to 5 very important conclusions/plans of actions for myself:
1) I must (promise to) obey and follow His Word.
2) Why question God's presence? The Lord is with me as well. He does the impossible to prove Himself to my faithless self, but why test my God? Why ask for circumstantial evidence?
3) The battle is the Lord's; persistence and perseverance — not skill or strategy — is required of me.
4) God is sovereign and has set apart every good and perfect thing that I will ever want and need.
5) God has promised me great things and He will be faithful — all it takes on my part is FAITH.
Not only is it amazing how reassuring God's Word is, but also how true it is that if you draw near to Him, He will draw near to you. PTL

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

feels stranger than fiction

encounter
glance
smile
laugh
hang
watch
eat
converse
comfort
write
embrace
wait
hope
talk
contain
pray
plan
dream
inspire
live
love
doubt
confront
criticize
defend
argue
cry
amend
repeat
frustrate
cling
sustain
struggle
project
break
surrender
return
confuse
depart
guard
remember
relive
boil
lament
mull
forgive
heal—
try
disappoint
bide
heal—
confess
reconcile
tip-toe
heal—
chat
reminisce
encourage
heal—
incite
remind
propel
part
release
drift
heal.


Friday, May 6, 2011

time to get my study on

FINALLY I am done with my last paper. I don't have to write anything meaningful anymore for at least the next 3 months (then I have to work on my personal statement and make that SUPER meaningful). WOOT

But that also means that I must foreals foreals begin LSAT bootcamp! I mean, I already technically started two days ago, but I lost steam yesterday because I was trying to squeeze out 6 more pages in Spanish than I thought my brain was capable of (it literally felt like trying to squeeze water out of a dry sponge).

In other news, I am pretty excited about this summer! I think there is a wealth of opportunities and AWESOME TIME WITH GOD ahead, and I think it'll be a good time at home too, although I will definitely miss being in Philly with my beloveds.

As I'm reading through Luke in the beginning of this summer, I really want to look closely at Jesus' ministry - the things He said, the purpose He came to serve (you know, other than the whole dying-for-our-sins-and-redeeming-us-in-God's-eyes thing), the authority and power with which He spoke every word. And in doing so, I really hope to gain the momentum I need to really push through next year with a passion and devotion unlike my previous years at Penn...yeah, I'm pretty excited!

Okay, here was my blogging study break. Back to work now!!

Monday, May 2, 2011

so it is, just like you said it should be

Junior year is over!

o.o

I mean yes, I still have one last paper to turn in, but other than that, I am now safely back home in Jersey with suitcases after suitcases full of STUFF and wow. I can't believe the year flew by this quickly!

And on the drive back home with my dad, I was relaying to him the thoughts I had on my mind as I mentally wrapped up junior year, and you know what?

This year was pretty awesome. I really think God was super faithful when He answered my prayer from last summer for more peace&joy — of course, it took a while to get off the ground because the summer was still pretty difficult for me, but once junior year kicked in, it was smooth sailing (flying?) from then on. The year seriously FLEW by! Things were pretty stable overall, there weren't any huge bumps, I enjoyed my classes and built closer relationships with peoples (especially sisters!), and yeah. I guess one of the biggest things I gained from this year was a greater sense of security.

It's amazing, really, how God just wants us to rest secure in the shadow of His wings, how delighting ourselves in Him will truly give us the desires of our hearts, how He loves us so. I don't know what lies ahead — probably a ton of challenges and temptations — but how sweet it is, for now, to be able to take ahold of the peace that transcends all understanding and the joy of the LORD that is our strength. ♥