adele therapy

a|b

There are things to hope for,
and then there are other things for which hoping is pointless—

Not because the act of hoping itself is pointless—

But because it is foolish to not be hoping for the "something better" that He has in store.

parentally advised content

I am 21 years old. Which means technically — aka legally — I am an adult and I can make my own decisions and all that fun stuff...(actually, I don't really know what being 21 means in terms of legal privileges...shoot. #hopefullyfuturelawyerfail)

But today, when my parents stopped by to drop off some things and my mom kept worrying over me and asking about everything and etc etc, I realized once again how much I depend on my parents, how much comfort I get from them, and how much I need someone to just take care of me & not expect anything of me every once in a while.

Here in college land, as I see my fellow senior friends rushing to OCR info sessions and working at various jobs to "bring home the bacon" and managing classes with extra-curriculars and serving and some semblance of a social life, I can't help but think - wow. We are really preparing for the real world now, huh? Wow. We are all so on top of everything, with so many responsibilities to uphold and opportunities to pursue. We are all slowly becoming independent adults (though we are still enclosed in this safe college bubble most of the time) and there is no turning back.

And then all of a sudden, my parents show up and I am just a kid. I'm only 21 years old. I don't know anything, I don't know how to do anything, I can't sustain myself as well as I would like to. And whereas when I was younger, I would have disliked that feeling, that feeling of being looked upon as immature and unable to fend for myself, today I really welcomed it. Only two weeks into school and already I am in need of my parents, oh dear. Sad, but true.

But not only do I have my earthly parents, who would do everything (in their limited human power) to make sure I am happy and healthy, I also have a heavenly Father, who did do and daily does everything (in His infinite and awesome power) to give me joy and life. So why should I feel helpless? I have the greatest support system and source of strength possible.

So while I began this morning with a sense of exhaustion and anxiety, I am comforted this afternoon by my parents' brief but blessing visit and this reminder of God's grace. PTL!

Back to running this marathon called life!

child-like faith and grown-up attitude

This year is all about having a child-like faith and a grown-up attitude.

That is, God is asking me to completely surrender myself to His will and His ways, trusting that He, as my heavenly Father, desires to give me good things and bring me to a good place for my own good. Like a child holding her father's hand and being led without protest or anxiety — that is the kind of faith God wants me to have (once again).

At the same time, He is also asking me to be a grown-up in attitude, not letting myself get down because of certain unmet expectations, relational difficulties, insecurities, overthinking of overthoughts. "Come now, let us reason together."

To be a child and an adult all at once...oh man.

starting at square one...again.

A lesson in trust, discipline, and perseverance? Because perseverance produces character, and character, hope?

I hope so.

Romans 8:28.

things i'd like to ask God and Penn

1. How did you come to pick me?

mercies new every morning

I've been reminded why it's so important that God's compassions are new every morning...

In the mornings, it's easy for me to feel so excited (super pumped!!!) for this year and what it holds (for my future, for my ministries, for my relationships) but at the end of the day, I already find myself completely exhausted even though I haven't done much intellectually challenging things in the past week or so. I have to be wise about the time that I spend doing x, y, and z, (which is, admittedly, pretty strange because in the past, the lull before the school year usually meant I gladly made time to catch up and hang out with as many people as possible before the actual academic year started.) Here I am...trying to hoard as much time as possible for myself...and it's not really working.

But it's been blessing so far, and I am very happy to be back :)

Here we go again...round 4. The final round.