but of course

the truth about humility and righteousness

From AMI, somewhat of a paraphrase+my own extrapolations:

In order to truly become humble, you must experience something that breaks down your pride. Praying for more humility ultimately is a request for more pride-shattering moments. You cannot simply read about humility and study Christ's humility in order to become more humble — you must LIVE it.

That's part one.

Part two:

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." (Matthew 7:3-5)

All the things that frustrated me, all the things that I scoffed at, all the things I saw as frivolous and/or worthless...they are all coming to bite me in the butt. I am the one with the flaws, I am the one with the insecurities, I am the one with the heart issues.

Another point of note: "One man’s faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand." (Romans 14:2-4)

God has apportioned grace, gifts, experiences as He sees fit: the LORD has assigned me my portion and my cup (Psalm 16:5)...where He leads I shall go, in my given lot I shall give thanks and be faithful.

What have I come to? Why is this such a constant struggle for me?

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'" (2 Corinthians 12:7-9) - and this is true: I cannot run away from something that is made to make me all the more dependent on God, something that is to challenge me and show me how apart from Him, I am nothing (John 15:5). I have no love, I have no humility, I have no righteousness; I am a lost sheep that the Shepherd has had to go out and personally find, risking death and damnation but ultimately triumphing as He carries me back over His shoulders.

How utterly, utterly weak and hypocritical and faithless I am as a human being. Yet how utterly, utterly good is His grace that justifies me nonetheless. It is honestly beyond understanding.

yes, i am writing again.

Not sure when I'll post it though. Everything I write seems so juvenile, but every conversation seems so fresh in my mind, like I'm simply reciting from memory rather than creating a reality of my imagination.

goodbye G

After a lot of thinking and talking to my parents, I think it'll be good for me to fast from Gchat for a while. I guess it'll be harder to keep in touch with certain people, but at the same time, it hasn't been doing too much for me anyway — just building up expectations for conversations that will inevitably get cut short by my tiredness or the other person's busy-ness. Plus, since I am now a suburban grandma (aka working lady), I should experience more of what real young adult life must be like: you don't spend hours on Gchat in your evenings waiting for someone to strike up a conversation with you...you go out and live life or you go to sleep to recharge for the next day.

There is something tragic about what day-to-day online communication has come to — words on a screen don't accurately portray what mood that person's in or how available they are; things we wouldn't do in real life meet-ups (vacating the seat to go do something else while keeping the other person hanging; simultaneously watching a TV show while talking; holding 5 other conversations at the same time) are natural and, I suppose, part of the beauty of Gchat/instant messaging.

Perhaps I'm not quite at liberties to go out and meet people whenever I feel like it compared to other people this summer, but I'm sure I'll be able to find something to do, and if I really do want to talk to someone (or someone does want to talk to me), we'll figure out a different way, whether it's calling or Skype-ing. I don't talk to very many people in a given day (work is pretty busy and you only make work-related small talk; there's only so much to talk about at the dinner table), so I'm sure the silences might be unbearable at times, given my personality haha. But God speaks in the silences, and maybe I won't have to try SO hard to hear His voice.

So yeah. No more Gchat until...who knows? That doesn't and shouldn't mean I'm unavailable to talk regardless :)

stuff GCC loves (10/11)

Well well, back by popular demand, and now that I have more time on my hands (although not as much as I would like)...

I present to you this year's "Stuff GCC Loves"! : a reflection and commentary on undergraduate GCC culture for the past academic year.

Unlike past years, this year includes categories in addition to singular objects...so yeah, it might be a bit long. And as always, this is not the OFFICIAL list or anything, just my personal observations, so feel free to correct any errors or suggest other things in the comments! :)

STUFF GCC LOVES (10/11 VERSION)

1. The Book of Acts

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but this was the book of the year. Bible studies, servants meetings, Sunday sermons, sometimes even Friday night sermons...Acts Acts Acts Acts ACTS! Not that we ended up finishing it or anything...but it was a good reminder of what kind of church we should be and what kind of mission we should live with...and what's more, GCC is hosting AMI (Acts Ministry International) Revolution this summer, so I'd say that was a pretty good set-up too!

2. "Studying" in Meyerson

Meyerson has always been home to GCCers, but this year, it was pretty much abused. Of course, it has been our Sunday service location, Wednesday night prayer location, sometimes FNL location, as well as a hangout+special event location (various class hangouts, Mafia rounds, movie nights, potlucks on the Friday of a break, birthday surprises, family group hangouts, sisters appreciation events, class prayer meetings, Overflow rehearsals, Praise Night, sometimes Grad Night, filming for random multimedia videos or Grad Night videos or just cuz videos)...and of COURSE it's been a study...ahem..."haven" for studious GCCers. But I have to say, with the arrival of 2014 — and the return of some 2013&2011ers (2012 was there last year too so they were a given) — Meyerson EXPLODED with laptops and books and "perfect" circles drawn on every chalkboard available.

See, look how studious these 2014 regulars are!

And then things like this happened...

...and this...

...not to mention, a WHOLE lot of this (below)

3. Nertz

Apparently, the Nertz craze began towards the end of the 09/10 school year, but it came back with a vengeance in the fall, perpetuated by a particular J.Lee and R.Chan...which was then bolstered by the arrival of a particular C.Tedijanto (it seriously must be a West Coast thing -_-). Though this solitaire+...Nertz (< seriously, that is the way people explain it) card game is loved by many, it has also been proven to induce anxiety attacks and back problems as well as random bouts of squealing/screaming and shouting "NERTZ!!!" in exultation.

4. Late-night food/drink crazes:

a. Starbucks on 34th

This Starbucks owes a lot of its revenue to GCCers "studying" in Meyerson. Then again, maybe not, since so many people just go for the free Venti waters...(please don't ask one person to get 4 Venti waters unless you're going to ask for an actual drink...he/she will get called out by a customer standing behind them.) Nevertheless, there have been some true caffeine-holics that have reached Gold Card status, and it would not have been made possible without this trusty 34th Street location.

Congratulations, friends.

b. McDonald's at CHOP

Does it make sense to put a McDonald's in a hospital? .....

I guess the real question is, does it matter? There are hungry children late at night (after FNL, while studying til 2am, just cuz), esp by the name of C.Wang, and they need someone to feed them yummy food for less than $5. So I guess the answer is, yes, it makes sense to put a McDonald's in a hospital...if that hospital is near Meyerson.

c. 500 Degrees

This burger joint has become a GCC staple in the past spring semester. (I, unfortunately, must be the only person who hasn't been there yet. Even people who don't normally eat burgers have been there already. Seriously.) What started off as a Friday lunch bro trip quickly turned into a GCC undergraduate-wide escapade to get one of their (so I hear) amazing burgers. And you know it's become GCC-certified when people will go after a full Chinatown-Good-Friday-breaking-fast meal to grab an extra bite to eat.

5. Apple products

I'm sure there are some flustered PC users out there being like, WHAT? PCs ALL THE WAYYYYY NONE OF THIS FANCY, OVERPRICED, WEAK STEVE JOBS STUFF (you know, like this kind of cynicism: Oatmeal Comic) but there's no way you can deny that Apple has made its mark on GCC. Even adamant PC users have switched over to Macbooks in the past few years, and there are so many iPhones, it's like the phones took "Be fruitful and multiply" a little too seriously.

5/9 phones in my family group were iPhones. Like seriously?

Then the iPad 2 came along, and all of a sudden, all these people were just ordering iPads left and right...you know, just cuz they can. I mean, if P.Joe has one (although I don't think it's the iPad2?), why can't I have one? Right? Right? I need to be able to read my PDFs on one screen while typing up my paper on my Macbook screen. I need to be able to carry something light to classes, not this outrageously bulky Macbook Pro. I need to be able to take photos on a screen that's MUCH bigger than my silly iPhone. I need to be able to...

I need to be able to...play FRUIT NINJA. DUH.

Not to mention, Words With Friends had its own fit of popularity frenzy this past year, before everyone finally decided that managing 7 games at once was a little too stressful...especially if you kept losing to R.Chan.

6. Twitter

This Twitter??

Nope, sorry.

This Twitter:

Facebook has always been a GCC staple (I mean, really. Team Creep? Instantaneous likes after an upload? Making J.Lee's model video pop up every 3 months on the newsfeed just to remind us of how lucky we are to have an Abercrombie model in our midst? Oh yeah, we should bump that video now.) but Twitter made its breakthrough this past year. And boy, we have abused this platform too. Not only have there been some users who retweet just about everything that comes their way, but it keeps reminding those left out of certain hangouts/trips how much FUN those other GCC Twitter users are having...while you're sitting at home reading 140-character updates in your PJs and liking every photo that comes your way on Facebook. (Who, me? No...I'm a writer...I'm good at writing hypotheticals...) Yes, it's definitely exciting when you're with those people and you're live-tweeting along with them. And it's a great way to stay in touch and in the know. But there must be a reason why this article was written...

7. Sugar Philly Macarons

These delectable treats from Sugar Philly have become all the rage this year, particularly among the sisters at GCC. No wonder some brothers found it appropriate to cater from them for Sisters Appreciation events...but seriously. If you haven't had one, you should go get one. And send me one too while you're at it (Milk&Honey and Green Tea please oh sanks).

8. Cute girls (who can sing and smile and say goodnight to you)

This year, GCCers had the privilege of seeing Brooke Fraser and Kina Grannis at World Cafe Live and the misfortune of being COMPLETELY stumbled by them. With their cute stage personas and amazing musical talents, so many Gchat statuses post-concerts professed their undying love for these two lovely ladies...even those of the sisters who attended.

Now, I know I said Person of the Year was going to take up the #10 spot starting from last year (because PotY took up #9 for 2009), but I lied. It's going to be #9 again this year (and maybe it'll be #10 next year!) And I guess without even saying who it is on my own, I'm sure there is a name that might come to mind for some GCCers. Of course, technically EVERYONE is a PotY because GCC is full of wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ, not to mention our awesome possum pastoral staff who really made this year a HUGE blessing for SO many of us!! Foreals.

But yeah, the moment you've all been waiting for...(or maybe not haha)

9. Irene (the artist colloquially known as Dohee) Kim

I actually have no idea when it first started. It just...happened one day. Just like many things in GCC, fan behavior just...comes out of nowhere. And once it appears, it just DOESN'T go away. So all this running around and harassing a beloved 2012 sister by repeating her Korean name in a high-pitched, excited voice while prancing around in the basement of Meyerson...yeah. It just happened. And then it grew and grew and grew until "Dohee" started to become a household name, er, verb/noun. You can even look up the Urban Dictionary definition — eat that, LOL and OMG; Oxford ain't got nothing on Urban Dictionary. But yes, this sister has been a blessing to many! And somehow, her name has been even more so...?

10. Ginyu Force

Again...things just...happen at GCC. And I'm sure that when this picture was taken on the 2011 Jamaica trip, these brothers meant no harm. It was just for kicks, because they were having a good time and we all know the 2011 brothers love taking photos of themselves. (Sure, many of them have hidden photos tagged of themselves on FB, but that's more because they're worried they'll be judged for just how many photos are tagged of them :P just kidding!!)

So it all started with this photo:

...which garnered a lot of amused (appalled?) responses and then inspired the 2014 brothers to recreate the scene for the freshmen Grad Night video...

...which then led to a combined photo at the end of Grad Night.

Isn't (brotherly) love grand?

(and if you haven't seen the video, you totally should, because it's like the best thing ever.)

Wow, looking back, the class of 2014 definitely helped define a lot of GCC culture this past year...kudos to you kiddos! But again, I could totally be wrong simply because I am just as biased an observer as anyone else out there, so again, feel free to suggest other things! This concludes STUFF GCC LOVES (10/11)! Hope it was a fun diversion for all y'all missing this awesome community and/or with nothing better to do.

Lastly, hope you are all having an amazing summer! God bless :)

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Photo credits to various people on FB as well as Google Images!

For past years:

Stuff GCC Loves (09/10)

Stuff GCC Loves (the S.Ryu original)

Stuff GCC People Like (the old school original) [it REALLY explains a lot of why we do the things we do today.]