God

Yeah, so...this is weird, I know, after all these entries about loving people and love and love verses from the Bible, it's weird. But man, God is probably the awesomest and yet the hardest being to love. 

Why? Because you know, it's hard to love someone who you can't see or touch. That's why long-distance relationships are really hard to work out (unless, of course, they're rooted in God's love. But that's another story.) It's mostly our faults - we get distracted by the people around us, the goals we've set for ourselves, or we just lose interest. Sometimes distance makes relationships feel one-sided or lost in translation. 

But you know, the catch is, He's technically everywhere. He's supposed to live in our hearts, protect us wherever we may go, provide us with our daily bread, etc etc. And you know, sometimes, it's hard to believe, because we just can't see how that's possible. He's long-distance (earth to heaven = pretty far), and yet, right by our side? Yeah, bet your boyfriend at the U of I can't do that.

And it's also hard because He "judges" us. Depending on His good favor or wrath, we could be walking on sunshine (whoa) or perishing in the hellish pits of fire. Seriously, people can get so turned off from God because He was so scary in the Old Testament, if you stay awake long enough to read that much. How easy could it be to love someone (person-wise) who not only saw your best powder-fresh, date-appropriate moments, but also your worst sides? When you lied, when you cheated, when you cursed, when you failed. Saw inside your mind and your heart and knew where your soul was going after you died? That would be one creepy significant other.

But the thing is, God's not a boyfriend. He's a father. And He's not just an earthly father, either. He doesn't have the human abilities to reject or disown - every time anyone failed him in the Old Testament, yeah, He got mad, but he always took them back. And then he did the craziest thing - He sent Jesus to bridge the gap - that weird long-distance/short-distance gap that was inevitably there because of God's total awesomeness. And that's what makes Him so easy to love. Jesus took care of the judgment stuff, the wrath stuff, the separation stuff. I mean, yeah. He made us see that God actually loves us and wants to be with us, despite the fact that we're so crazy imperfect when left to our own devices.

The reason why we - I - have the capacity to love all these people/types of people I mentioned in the past month is because of one being in my life - God (and of course, Jesus.) I would sum it up a little more, but I think I'll just leave it to the verse - the one verse I've been wanting to share for ALL of February. :)

Love you guys, thanks for reading.

Verse:

"Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love on another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him.

We love because he first loved us." (1 John 4:7-17, 19)

people who give good hugs

I love hugs. 

It's kind of sad, though, because GCC can be very touch-conscious. And I actually feel awkward for 40% of girl-to-girl hugs. Weird, I know, but it just works out that way for me. I think some of it has roots from back in middle school when I'd hate it when girls (typically Asian) would try to link arms with me; you'd think that I would be okay with it because I used to have to hold my mom's hand everywhere we went until like at least sophomore year of high school.

But regardless, I love people who give good hugs. There is an art to hugging - consult "awkward scenario of the week" from back last october or something - and seriously, some people just suck at it. I'm sorry, but they do. I know they don't mean to, but I guess they're just meant to be with someone who really doesn't like hugging either or they have like an "other half" out there that just fits right into that awkward hug just right. Either way. There is definitely an art - no awkward one-armed hugs or leaning in on the same side or a huge space in between the people...yeah.

I think the reason why I'm so hypersensitive to receiving good hugs is because according to a "love languages test" CK made me take yesterday, my two main love languages are quality time (33%) and touch (27%). The latter is a pretty high percentage. (A friend commented, "What's up with all these touching questions? It makes me sound like I want to be felt up every second of my life!" (HA!) Anyway, so I receive love in those two ways, and like I'm not surprised, but it was interesting to see that written out. And yeah, if I had to guess my ways of giving love, I'd say acts of service and touch, yet again. 

There's just something about patting someone on the back to give them reassurance or say they did well, or holding someone's hand when it's cold or they're afraid, or hugging them just because. And in some ways, I guess that's like not very...PC (purity-correct), but I mean, I'm saying this applies to both the opposite gender and the same gender. One of the best hugs I ever get these days is from one of my older sisters here whenever I'm tired or burnt out or even just happy to see her. 

But anyway. Digression: I suppose this also links into my previous post about people who smell good - it is so nice to take in a hug along with the scent someone exudes - particularly if it is a good scent :) But it also links into other posts like greeters - it's so nice to just hug someone in greeting hello or goodbye. If you've ever seen "Love Actually," the last scene is at the airport where people are just hugging each other hello...super heartwarming. Digression End.

Another thing I noticed about hugging though, is that sometimes it's really awkward for me to hug my own brother. I don't know why, but I guess it's just always been weird because I have never been particularly close with him. But he's always been open to it, because he's always been a more loving sibling than me. It's something I'm working on as I try to reach out to him more.

In conclusion, hugging is good, but good huggers are even better :)

Verse:

"With a mighty hand and outstretched arm; His love endures forever." (Psalm 136:12)

*P.S. I've had some requests for the actual love languages test, ha, so you can find it here (this is how you receive love): http://www.afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp

atheists

[People hard to love]

Okay, now this is not supposed to be like politically or...religiously incorrect or whatever. Let me remind you that it says "people hard to love" not "people I hate with a burning, fiery passion." Some of my best friends in life have been atheists, and honestly, I thought it was better to be friends with atheists than the Christians that I knew in high school.

But anyway. I digress. The thing about atheists is that, a good portion of them are pretty confrontational. Yeah, people claim to be PC and they claim to respect other people's religions, but man, when it comes to atheists vs. Christians, it's like rawr, cat fight. And you know, a lot of the times, it is the Christian's fault, because he/she probably said something about condemning them to hell and whatnot. But you know, there are a lot of atheist-caused confrontations too - if you look at huge random Facebook groups, there's always that thread that says, "Give me one good reason to prove that God exists." It's like, okay. If you're looking to find the existence of God in a Facebook group discussion, I am sorry. Because most of the time, these discussions just turn into intelligence-superiority battles or "Don't question it. Just believe in Him" "but that's called blind faith!" scruples. And you're not gonna get an answer. You're more or less just going to get frustrated or get on some crazy ego trip.

And you know, I like the atheists vs. Christian stereotypes - you know, where atheists are more scientifically inclined and more knowledgeable and more rational and more intellectual? And like Christians are too emotional, too dependent on the unseen, the unmeasurable, the unbelievable? Because I think it keeps us in check. Both of us. 

If, as staunch atheists, you only hung out with other staunch atheists, I honestly don't see how you could enjoy life at all. Everything is so calculated or (paradoxically) so random. You think love is just a chemical reaction in the brain, and you think finding your spouse for life is up to chance and good luck. 

If, as staunch Christians, you only hung out with other staunch Christians, I also don't see how you could fully enjoy life or even attest to your own faith. Everything is so mystical or (paradoxically) so inevitable and meaningless (on this earth, i.e.). You think the loved ones in your life right now are only of this world - we're all going to be up in heaven anyway - and that suffering you're imposing upon yourself right now is for some greater good you don't fully understand.

Because I'm a Christian myself, I'm going to place more of the responsibility to bridge this gap on Christians. The more we attribute our beliefs to "just knowing" and less to really studying the Word and even attempting to find out about the historical/scientific backgrounds of the Bible, the less credible we'll seem to atheists. It's a given fact. Also, it's almost like saying that the stories in the Bible are truly only "stories."

In my experience with atheists, they just want to know the intellectual aspects of Christianity first. That's their main interest, the primary itch they must scratch first before they can move on to listening to the spiritual/emotional aspect. The reason we have to reach out to them first instead of vice-versa is because they just don't know this second aspect at all. We, as Christians, have the ability to know both, but very often we choose not to. It's like this: a professor can choose to study/learn and also teach because he/she is at a certain level of knowledge, but a student can only study/learn. We're the profess-ors, in this instance, just in case you didn't know. We need to want to profess our faith.

And you know what? Beyond the intellectual aspects and whatnot, the core of dispelling our message - God's message - is love. We lack that SO much when we encounter hard-hearted atheists who call us crazy, stupid, blind, etc. Seriously, I watched this vid on this other blog of this hardcore atheist recounting an experience he had with a Christian who handed him a book of Psalms, I think. He called him a very "sane" and "kind" man who genuinely just wanted to speak to him - and I think his hard heart may have been opened by at least a centimeter. We ourselves can get so hard-hearted and confrontational, calling them sinners and the poor, poor lost black sheep. But love: that's the kind of approach we need. 

Verse:

"If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?" (Matthew 5:46-47)

all body types

It has come to my attention that there are several people around me struggling with body image these days.

See, this was one of those issues that I never really thought about because I never knew anyone personally who was anorexic or bulimic - those kinds of people were only present in fashion magazine "advice" articles or health class or on television. But you know, even if I still don't know anyone personally who has a serious disorder, I do know several people distressed about their external appearance in terms of their body.

It pains me to see or hear about these kinds of cases, just because I sincerely believe that God made us as perfect as we would ever be. Yeah, sure, I will go ahead and admit that in the past, I have been slightly prejudiced against "fat" people because many of them have been seriously rude or have had insecurity-manifested-as-superiority issues, and I know that internally, they have blamed all their problems in life and the unfair world as results of their weight. Now, for those kinds of bitter people, I can only suggest two things: repent and have God fill you with peace, or find a moderated work-out schedule and a new diet that doesn't involve starving yourself. (And for goodness sake, diet sodas don't do ANYTHING, especially if you drink 3 cans of diet soda for every 1 can you would've had of regular soda.)

But the people that I know that are struggling right now are wonderful, super-sweet and -friendly people. And for many reasons, I really wish they could see themselves the way I see them. And more importantly, the way God sees them. I know, it's so cliched to say, "It's what's inside that counts," because honestly, the world has issues really living up to that phrase. People do judge upon first impressions and discriminate. But you know, at the same time, there are definitely people in the "real world" who don't do that. Or if they happen to mistakenly do that, they know how to change their minds. 

(Disclaimer: Not bragging or being prideful in any way.) There have been people who have always said, "You know, you wouldn't know/you wouldn't understand because you've always been skinny. I wish I could be petite like you." Now let me tell you - I only seem that way because my upper body is on the slim side - and slowly, not even that anymore. (bah.) But seriously, my mom has always told me, "You know, you can try all you want to be fit and dress well, but if you can't walk around with a bright and approachable smile on your face, it'll kill everything." And it's true. If you can smile with true joy in your heart, I think that's actually more attractive than a model's stone-still gaze in an ad.

So seriously, I really hope that these people know that they are loved. I know sometimes the distinction between being loved and being liked can be such a huge difference, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Because we know deep down our parents love us and God loves us, but what about the perfect guy/girl? But if you've ever watched the movie "Shallow Hal," you'll find that there are people realizing their shallowness, and that there are people who reject shallowness. I hate being a romantic sap these days, but I know that regardless of what you look like, there is someone out there who will love you whether you're 95 lbs or 135 lbs (and however much that translates into for guys, haha). 

And the second thing is, you will never be able to love that person or even any person fully - with the amount of love that that person deserves - until you are able to love yourself. It's a known fact, proven statistically. I promise. Especially as a Christian, because God should be living inside of you, and if you reject yourself as a vessel for Christ, I dunno - that's pretty much rejecting God...and that's like, a sin. haha

So yeah. Love yourself. Because you know at least one other person does :)

Verse:

"Love never fails ... For we know in part and prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears." (1 Corinthians 13:8-10)

racists

[People hard to love.]

So, I've had my fair share of encountering racists. When I was in 7th grade, we all had to play ultimate Frisbee as part of our PE requirement. Unfortunately, I was stuck with three racist white guys and two other Asian girls. Obviously, I wasn't very good at throwing a Frisbee, and neither were the two other girls. So, to spite us, they kept cracking mean jokes, like "Oh yeah, we should call this team Asian Pride." "Yeah! Asian Pride! We're so awesome at Frisbee...NOT." etc etc. You can imagine what a shock this was to my twelve-year-old sheltered self after living in a very Asian-Jewish-Italian-Hispanic town in Jersey (it's now nicknamed "Koreatown").

But those were pre-pubescent boys in 7th grade. I also remember one time, my dad got cut off in a mall parking lot, and the guy as he passed by, yelled, "F---ing chink!" as he sped on by. I was so shocked by the incident, I remember tearing up in the car.

In some ways, I guess that showed my weak-heartedness, because if I were resilient, why should that bother me? And I think sometimes, it's really easy for more PC Caucasians to just brush it off with a laugh and go, "Man, they're retarded." But when you're on the receiving end, it really does hurt.

So, as a staff writer at The Daily Pennsylvanian, I had to write a professor profile on this Italian professor. She's straight-up native and has a rather thick accent. She was very nice to me the entire interview and was very accommodating.

After the interview, she asked that I give her a copy of the story before it went into print. I consulted my editor and let her know that I was not able to do that because it is part of newspaper policy, but that I would be more than happy to send her the interview transcript/notes. She called me up during dinner Saturday night and demanded a copy of the story, saying what I was doing (preventing her from having it) was illegal and that she had a legal right to the story. (Not true.) I told her that it still was not possible, and she tried to convince me to keep it between me and her, but I still said all I could do was send her an interview transcript as soon as possible. She asked me to leave out the more personal details, which I ended up omitting from the transcript, because they would be of no value to the final story anyway.

After spending 40 minutes transcribing the interview, I sent it to her. The next day - today - she called me up after service and told me I had done the transcription completely incorrectly. The conversation that occurred was as follows: (paraphrased)

"Were you born in the United States?"

"No, I was not."

"Well, that is why your English is not very good."

"Um..."

"You misinterpreted everything I said. (rambleramble) This is why you should send a native speaker to the interviews. You made me sound very silly. But people will not laugh at me, they will laugh at you."

Then in the email she sent me with some of the grammatical corrections (to errors she made originally), she wrote, "The language makes me sound like a Chinese..."

Now, let me reiterate that she has a very thick Italian accent. 

With this incident, is it easy to love someone like this? Honestly, if she calls me up one more time after the story goes into print - I will probably just not pick up because I am done with her. I never want to talk to her or do any future stories involving her ever again. Just like I never wanted to see those 7th grade boys again or that hostile driver again.

But you know...Jesus was spat upon and cursed by the world. They called Him all kinds of names - liar, blasphemous, crazy - and they still call Him that today, but He still found it in his heart to love the world. Isn't that crazy? For me, this woman was just one person. But He had/has to put up with the whole world cursing him out every single day, every single second.

And I can't say that right now, in this moment, I can find it in my heart to forgive her, much less love her. But I can definitely try to prevent myself from harboring any hate.

Verses:

"Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." (Proverbs 10:12)

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8)

'09 seniors

I loved the seniors in high school when I was a freshman, and it's no different here as a freshman in college. There's just something about people who have had more life experiences than you, people who can give you advice about things that they've gone through beforehand, and especially with the ones I know here, they're willing to just be the older siblings you never had (or if you have older siblings, your older-siblings-away-from-home.) 

This is not to say that I don't love the sophomores and juniors that I know - they're pretty amazing as well. But I don't know, maybe because it's nearing May and I'm only starting to get to know some of the seniors, I feel so pressed for time. And I really feel like I'm going to miss them like CRAZY. 

Last night at the prayer meeting, I was praying for one of my sisters, and I just felt myself choking up for no reason. Like seriously? It's like February. And it's not like I'm never going to see them again after they graduate, especially cuz I expect some of them to invite me to their weddings (ahem). 

But I don't know, there's just something about being in this bubble we call college that allows us to foster relationships pretty quickly and pretty deeply here, and the real world is just so...daunting and sucky. Sucky in the sense that it sucks up time and energy. I already don't have time here as it is to respond to Facebook wall posts or return phone calls, so what would it be like to try to keep in touch after you get a job and whatnot? When you're not in the Philly area and you're like in freaking Illinois or Massachusetts? It's going to be super hard.

So yeah. I really love our seniors, my seniors, and even though some might still stick around...I'll still miss them as a group. They're such awesome, accomplished, solid people, with amazing talents and intellect and hearts and I just know that they're going to be used so well by God. And that they're going to be so influential in this world, even if not all of them become ambassadors or renowned surgeons or CNN anchors. 

Because each of them is a letter (a fragrance! ha) that God's sending out to the world, and they definitely are filled to the brim - covered in writing. And they will all become ones that will be read over and over again, kind of like that note in seventh grade that you got from the guy/girl you liked, and you kept it in your diary/wallet so you could look at it from time to time and just feel loved. ...Even though y'all probably lost interest soon enough, haha. But unlike those notes of infatuation, they're notes containing God's love - which never fails, which never dies, which never gets old.

And even though they're olddd comparatively to me, their hearts are always being renewed by God's never-moldifying love. :) 

Verse:

"You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts." (2 Corinthians 3:2-3) 

that one girl in english class

[People hard to love] 

For those of you who have ever taken a legit English class (or maybe just an English class in general), you know exactly who I'm talking about. 

This girl is obnoxious, usually very confident in her knowledge of literature and her abilities in interpretation. It's usually because she's not very good at any other discipline. She either never raises her hand before she speaks or raises her hand in the weirdest, most annoying way ever. But nevertheless, she speaks all the time. And she usually has an annoying voice on top of that as well, or maybe just her voice inflections are annoying. She usually carries herself with a certain posture, the kind with her nose ever-so-slightly (5 degree incline) up in the air.

Now, disclaimer. There's nothing wrong with being intelligent. There's also nothing wrong with being an enthusiastic participant. There's even nothing wrong with leaning towards one academic area - in fact, it makes planning your life so much easier.

But it's that ungrounded arrogant pride that gets everyone. That's why people think English majors are half chain-smoker, box-inhabiting geniuses and half snooty, hyperemotional academic snobs that never reach a solid conclusion. 

And honestly, some people just really bother me, and it makes me ask, must you act that way because you just want the attention? 

And then I take a step back and I have to think. Maybe she's insecure. Maybe she just wants people to acknowledge her. Maybe she has bad memories from math class that makes her want to overcompensate in an area she feels strongly about. Maybe she has such a passion for English language and literature that she can't help herself. Maybe she's not used to adjusting to a broader social setting. Maybe she needs love.

Not praise. Not admiration. But love.

And though I probably will never talk to that girl in my Lit&Law class this semester, I can try to be understanding and loving in my mind/heart as much as possible. Because honestly, disliking her and rolling my eyes at her takes so much more energy than just being peaceful and loving.

Verse:

"Be humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." (Ephesians 4:2)

people that are hard for me to love

So as the month is coming to a close in a little over a week, I'm going to start sprinkling in people I find hard to love, but need to love anyway.

Yeah. This will be fun - it's sort of a roundabout way of saying these are people I can't stand. :) But that's okay, because I can try to love them.

people who smell good

Yeah, so this one's weird, but I kid you not. 

In high school, I always wished I were that girl that would walk past you in the hallway, in the classroom, in the library and you'd get this subtle breeze of fruity or flowery scent (these girls usually wore that Bath&BodyWorks raspberry spray). Or if I were a guy, I would want to be that guy whose cologne you can subtly detect, or maybe not even cologne, but just like soap - preferably Dove - that just gives him like that fresh, clean-cut edge.

Why? Because scent is so closely tied with emotions and memories, says my psychology teacher. But I already knew this - whenever I smell Country Apple from B&BW, I always think of my freshman year in high school; whenever I smell Old Spice, I think of my grandfather; whenever I smell banana bread, I think of my mom. And then there are those unnameable scents that I know smell like a particular person's scent, but I can't describe it; I only know if I smell it. 

But back to why: I want to be a memorable and easily recognizable person. :) Selfish, I suppose, but it's true. I want to know if someone detects a scent and connects to me. (And no, don't mention unpleasant scents, like manure or rotting fruit, thanks.)

But beyond a literal scent, I want to know if someone can detect the fragrance of God/Jesus upon me. 

I'm reading through 2 Corinthians with Tiff, and it said in last week's reading: "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing." (2 Corinthians 2:14-15)

And I thought to myself: just like those high school girls who you could immediately smell when they walked into a room, is it possible for people to just sense that I am a Christian when I walk into a room? Is there a certain gait that Christians have or a certain aura they emit - maybe one of joy or peace or love? Hm.

I would love to be memorable and noticeable for smelling good, but I would love it even more if I could be memorable and noticeable for smelling of Christ.

Verse:

"And live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (Ephesians 5:2)

solid evangelists

When I was a freshman in high school, I attended a revival service for the youth/English speaking ministry. The speaker, Mark Cahill, came to talk about his new book, One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven. That one thing was evangelizing, or sharing the Christian faith. I cried as my dad drove me home. I didn't know why I cried at the point, except that it was sad, thinking how futile I was as a Christian.

He really emphasized reaching out to others, asking us, if you were to stand before God today, how many people would you be able to say you brought to Christ?

Now, looking back, it was sort of a bad question, because it's not like we're sharing our faith so we can gloat about how many "tickets to heaven" we sold, you know? And if we approached evangelism like that, we would just get lumped into the close-minded, "offensive" preachers that non-Christians are absolutely repulsed by.

But the reason why it struck a chord with me is I hadn't talked to anyone non-Christian seriously about my faith. And seriously, it was totally going against the grain of what I wanted to believe about Christianity - that it wasn't exclusive, that it wasn't just for the people born into Christian families being perfectly judgmental about those that weren't. By not saying anything to anyone and staying in my own PC bubble, I was being super-exclusive. 

But how could I? That's everyone's dilemma. No one wants to have shoved in his/her face, "You're going to HELL. REPENT." but at the same time, people point fingers at us for not sharing because it's like we're keeping some awesome secret all for ourselves.

So let me be up front for once. I believe that if you do not accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior and you do not turn to God the Father, you are going to go to hell. And I don't say this in a condemning manner, I say this in a matter-of-fact manner. This does not make me superior to you, nor does it make me happy to say it. In fact, I think my unreasonable crying as a shocked high school freshman was the basis of a heart for the lost.

Now, all this jargon-y terminology - "personal savior," "God the Father," "the lost" - it just doesn't make sense to non-believers. In fact, if I weren't Christian, I would seriously be like, okay, whatever. Go sing kumbaya and leave me be. So let me put it in simple terms.

I love you. As a friend, as a fellow human being, I love you. And I want to be able to spend the rest of eternity with you in heaven - where there's no poverty, no stress, no hurt, no shame, no death. The perfect world we humans wish we had? That's unobtainable on this planet. But I know of a place where it's possible, and I want to share it with you, plain and simple.

I love you. And to know that I am separated from you right now, even if we're in the same school, city, country, Earth - that breaks my heart. So let me share my faith with you out of love, nothing more. Nothing less.

That's what a solid evangelist would say, I hope. And that's why I love people who can do so with such conviction.

Verse:

"The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." (Galatians 5:6)

college students who can cook

I have a profound respect for college students who can cook. I mean yeah, you're now away from home and living life on your own, but still. There are noobs like me that barely know how to make ramen and would probably live off of sandwiches, cereal, and salads for the rest of their lives if they never got around to trying.

I (jokingly) blame it all on my mother. She refused to let me in the kitchen all my life, for fear that I would chop off my fingers and never be able to play violin again. Go figure. Now, I hardly have the motivation to learn anymore, just because it's so inconvenient to make something awesome to eat for myself. I'm more of a presenter-gifter, not a self-indulger. What's the point in cooking something amazing just so you can sit down and eat it by yourself? You get sick of it in the process (so I hear.) And plus, I don't have a kitchen. Nor will I have one next year.

But seriously, for those people who do know how to cook and even better,  do cook for me (haha), I LOVE it. There's nothing more that says "I care about you" (in a platonic way, geez) than a home-cooked meal/home-...baked...dessert? haha Treating someone to a meal is nice and all, but cooking rocks!

Yeah. I had to get that out there. Cuz I love food :)

Verse:

"...Jesus asked him the third time, 'Do you love me?' He said, 'Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.' Jesus said, 'Feed my sheep.'" (John 21:17)

surprise people

Okay, so total epic fail on writing everyday thing. So...we'll see how this continues.

Today has seriously been the best Valentine's Day of my life, starting with yesterday evening (which was V-Day Eve...and Friday the 13th. Anyway...). Basically, our GCC freshmen boys put together a lovely evening of dessert and a movie. Super cute :) When we entered the room, they were in two rows on their knees, holding roses out to us. So ridiculous. And they had made desserts and decorations, etc. We ended up watching "Ghost" (yes, the one with Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore, who looks like a guy in the movie), and it was just an overall sweet time.

Then today, I got to hang out with my family group for lunch, which was really nice, and tour Center City a little bit. But even better was at night, the senior GCC boys threw a surprise GCC ball for the 09 sisters, inviting everyone and throwing a surprisingly-not-so-awkward party. Total props to them. It was just super cute and super happy and just really nice for everyone.

The thing about surprises is that when done out of love, it's like ridiculously awesome. I forgot to mention, while CKwon, Tiff, Ahrim, and I were at Love Park today, we saw a proposal happen right underneath the Love Park sculpture. That was like the first time I've ever seen someone propose to someone else in real life. I mean, granted, of ALL days to do it...V-Day...Love Park...are you foreal? And it lasted like 5 min max...haha BUT regardless, it was so awesome, and she was crying, and they hugged, and it was just a happy happy time. I couldn't help but cheer them on.

I remember every year, Valentine's Day was just a reminder that I was single. And though I didn't mind all that much, I also definitely used to think it was just about the consumerism. I used to make "Bundles of Love" (Hershey kiss pouches) for friends and family, but sometimes, it wasn't very rewarding, to be completely honest. I thought I needed a significant other to truly enjoy the holiday. But you know what? I learned today that it isn't just about the consumerism or even about a perfect boyfriend. If you can show love - honest love - to at least one person on this day, then it's totally worth celebrating it. It is about loving your family, loving your family in Christ, loving your friends, loving your classmates, loving your hallmates, loving even strangers. 

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. Forserious.

Verse:

"May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you." (1 Thessalonians 3:12)

spanish teachers

In my 6.5 years of taking Spanish, I have encountered only 2 Spanish teachers I haven't particularly liked. Actually, one still liked me and was nice to me, so I didn't really dislike her. So I guess just one, then. But she wasn't even my teacher - she was just one of my homeroom teachers/club sponsors in high school. And judging by her accent, I don't know if you could even count her as a legit Spanish teacher.

But seriously, in high school, I was tight with the Foreign Language (particularly Spanish) department the most, and I don't know why, except that they are all just really friendly and warm and laid-back. I guess because learning a foreign language can be so grueling to the average high schooler, they have to work extra hard to make it an appealing 55 minutes. 

I also think it's just part of their culture - the warmth and the chill factor. (Wow, that wasn't a paradox or anything...) 

Yeah, some of them are strict, and I know of many people who hated the Spanish teachers in their lives, but for me, they have always been awesome people, even in college.

So, I totally forgot to turn in an essay today, but my prof was just like, "It's okay, don't worry about it." Now, I don't know if he meant it or not, but at least the words were comforting. 

How many times in our lives have we been exasperated about other people not meeting our deadlines? When they're late to our meetings or parties or rehearsals, or they don't respond to our emails, texts, or calls, and it takes every ounce of effort for us to say with a clipped voice, "It's okay," but really, it isn't? 

For those that are on the receiving end of our frustrations, sometimes, it's really scary and intimidating. You don't know if you ruined the relationship - teacher-student, friendship, even straight up relationships. But you know what? If we're both warm and chill in our hearts, I don't think we'll ever need to put anyone in that kind of position. Of course, that's not saying we need to be pushovers - you have to lay down the law sometimes. But in general, I think people who are able to sympathize and forgive at the right moments (of course, you should always forgive as a Christian...ha), are the ones who will receive the same treatment, or at least a sense of appreciation, back to them.

Dios es amor. :)

Verse:

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment." (1 John 4:18)

greeters

So, I didn't post on Friday/Saturday, so I'll try to make this a big one and do another one later in the day.

I joined the Welcoming team at my church two weeks ago - it's something that I've always wanted to do. There's just something about greeting people at the door with a friendly smile and a cheery "Hello!" that just makes me happy. And I'm sure it makes the people being greeted pretty happy too.

The thing about me is - I don't do it out of any previous experience or because I remember being treated so well at my old church. In fact, I was a pretty big nobody in my Georgia church. I used to just sit in the pews by myself and have no one really acknowledge me or say much to me. And I think out of those experiences, I've decided to never let that happen to anyone else. I'm not the best at discerning those who are alone and those who choose to meet God one-on-one (and thus, seem alone), but I'm working on it. Because regardless of which one it is, I think they still need someone to let them know that the church knows that they're here and that they are most welcome.

The thing about church is - sometimes, we're a very exclusive bunch. And yeah, I guess that's part of being of faith - if you don't have it, then in all literalness, you're not of the same heart. But I think we as Christians should extend a hand out to everyone. Genuinely. I remember being greeted at my old church, and after expecting the welcomer to be able to carry on a simple conversation with me, I was sorely disappointed. And that was even though I was a Christian.

My pastor said a few Sundays ago that we should make our hellos and goodbyes count. I definitely think that this is an important part of human, not just Christian, relations.

So...HELLO.

And...GOODBYE!

Verse:

"And you are to love those who are aliens, for you yourselves were aliens in Egypt." (Deuteronomy 10:19)

guys who are guys' guys

During a lunchtime chat today, I learned that there is a difference between girly girls/guy-ish girls/girly guys/guy-ish guys. I mean, I always knew there was a difference there, obviously, but I never realized my preference has significantly changed. Or maybe it has always been this way, but I always thought differently in my head.

Okay, so that paragraph just made no sense. But basically, what I found was that I prefer to be around guy-ish girls and guy-ish guys. The former is not too much of a surprise to me, because I would say I'm pretty guy-ish myself (after my girlish dreams in fourth grade of wanting to be a pop star) and all my best girlfriends in high school had a guy-ish streak to all of them. But the latter was definitely a surprise to me. I never considered myself the type to like guys who are, well, guy-ish: ignorant, muscular, beef-eating, athletic, reticent. In fact, I always thought I liked the artsy-writer-thinker types: classy, insightful, coffee-drinking, songwriting, conversational. But yeah no.

I love competition - verbal/intellectual, sure, but physical as well. I know that sounds weird coming from me but seriously, it's like my inhibition shuts off when it gets into competition mode, be it video games or (dare I say it?) sports/athletic activities. I also love food, even though I haven't been able to eat as much as I was able to back in the day. I am quite crude, and only since coming to college and becoming more pure-minded/hearted through GCC (ha) has kind of made that side of me dormant, but seriously. My friends in high school know - I am pretty quick on my feet concerning "That's what she said"s.

So I love guys that are totally in tune with their guy side. Yeah, embracing feminine characteristics like sympathy, sentimentality, and fashionability is a plus, but there is just something raw and genuine about guys' guys. I can get frustrated with guys that don't talk much, but that is usually out of lack of motivation/interest. But when they do sit down and respond, I think their way of being is better - they just do. No small talk, no hours and hours being moody and cynical, lost in metaphysical, philosophical thoughts. They just live life and do what they do.

So yeah. I can't believe I just chose brawn over brains. But I guess I'm not choosing it over it; it's only that you can't have just brains, ha.

And I also love the girls who understand me and this guyishness inside of me. :)

Verse:

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." (1 John 3:18)

people who know how to go all out

So I am a very cautious person by nature. I know, you wouldn't think so because I have such a loud voice and a snarky opinion, but seriously, I'm mad careful.

So when I last-minute-decided to head over to Meyerson today, I didn't expect for that trip to studying to turn into an all-out snowball fight on College Green. Like foreal. Of course, I didn't get very owned because the seniors were quite busy owning each other, but I can't wait for this to happen again so I can own others and get owned. I know the latter sounds weird, but I really want to be able to just let go of everything and have some snow stuffed into my face. And feel the sweet taste of revenge when I smush some snow into someone else's face.

I'm not a very spontaneous person by nature. So I love people who know how to be spontaneous at the right times. Who know how to get a bunch of people together and seize the opportunity to just go crazy. Because sometimes, these impromptu epic events happen in the blink of an eye, and there's no amount of planning and debating that can bring about this kind of awesomeness.

Yeah. So the next time it snows like this and there's a call for a 11 pm snowball fight...kiddos, (esp frosh), you better be ready, because I want to go all out.

Verse:

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." (Deuteronomy 6:5)

asians with surprising names

I love people who have unique names, particularly Asians. I mean, how creative can we be in English? Asians usually go for John/Jonathan and Brian in terms of guys, and then Christine/a and Jennifer in terms of girls. Even my own name, Sarah, is mad common.

But there are some, where it's like. No WAY. Your name is that? But you're Asian...

For example:

 - Isaiah

 - Micah

 - Harold

 - Evelyn

 - Isabel

 - Tricia

The thing about first names is that your parents choose them for you, so I guess you need to give mad props to the parents who made them. I mean, yeah, there's the occasional "Destiny" or "Kitty" where you just go, Why? But overall, I think deviating from the typical first names really helps out with the typical last names - Kim, Lee, Li, Wang, etc. (I'm allowed to have a plain first name because my last name is so uncommon, ha.) I am definitely naming my kids unique, but normal, names. Like Jeremiah or Nathaniel or Leah or Audrey...? (Okay, so I have trouble thinking of cool girl names.)

Seriously, it's sort of that thing where you can't choose your parents...nor can you choose your own name (until much later when you become legal and you choose to change your name.) Your parents give you both names, first and last. And the last, it just stays with you for generations after generations. Except for maybe if you're a girl and you're the only child. Then you're kind of screwed. 

But the great thing about being called God's children is that this title never goes away, even if you get married into another family or you get disowned or you run off to live in a jungle for twenty-some-odd years and call yourself Mahtonga. If you call Him, "Father," His name will forever be attached to yours. Isn't that pretty sick? Like, I could become the plainest Korean girl ever if I married a typical Korean guy - Sarah Lee, Sarah Kim - but with God on my side, I'm pretty much the most awesome Sarah to walk the face of the planet, regardless of my last name. And my plain first name.

But maybe I should change my name to Shaniqua just in case. :)

Verse:

"And a voice from heaven said, 'This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.'"(Matthew 3:17)

people who look like they're too young to be in college

I don't know why, but it's just so refreshing to see people who don't look like they belong here in college. Like they're awkward middle schoolers or something. Toting their huge backpacks full of physics textbooks and senior theses on social norms, flashing their driver's licenses that say that they're eighteen, or even better, twenty-one. And I have plenty of friends who look that way. But that's not to say that they're immature, because they're some of the smartest, wisest, most spiritually sound people I know.

What is it about them that draws people like me - people who always look older than their age - to them? I think it's because usually those kinds of people are very sincere and child-like in their hearts. Someone who is pissed off at the world and holds grudges and says bad things behind people's backs cannot pull off a genuinely child-like face. Unless you're like Satan, who's good at fooling people. But that...was totally uncalled for.

Getting back on track - I just love people who not only look young but are just so youthful on the inside. They could be 75 and I would still love them for their youth if they had that kind of spirit. It's hard to not get jaded by the world by that age, and it's even harder being a joyful college student sometimes. 

In fact, it's all about the inside. I guess I should revise my statement and say that I love people with young hearts. Because that youth translates to the outside effortlessly. I know plenty of people who look like fifth graders but still feel old and more like bratty kids who haven't learned to grow up. Ironic, no?

So yeah. Be young in spirit. Be young in your heart. Love life like children.

Verse:

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children." (Ephesians 5:1)

series premiere

So, it's February. And ask anyone who knows me pretty well, and they will say that I don't really like the month of February. It's awkward. It's got exactly four weeks in it (except on leap years - why does it have to be so high maintenance about its days?), it contains one of the most commercialized holidays ever, and regardless of the groundhog seeing its shadow, Philadelphia will still have its six weeks more of winter (although today was amazing. Tomorrow will be freezing.) And yes, you can consult my Facebook note from last year on February - it had the same stuff in the intro. But this is why I remain adamant about not really liking February. 

When I think of February, I think of the color RED. I associate months with colors. It's kind of weird, I'm sorry. But like it's a little known fact about me. Like March, to me, is yellow. July is navy blue. November is brown. But yeah. February is red.

It got me thinking: why? Because of Hallmark hearts? Maybe. But I thought of a new idea. Hearts are red...because of blood. Yeah, it's a little gross-sounding (like forserious, I know) but blood made me think of one of my favorite songs, "Nothing But The Blood." And hearts also made me think of love. And ironically, that commercialized holiday is supposed to be about love. So I've decided to start a series on love - more specifically, people I love (with the occasional thing if I can't think of anything.) Not exactly individual people, but types of people. And I'm also going to compile Bible verses on love because sometimes it's easy to overlook this "simple" concept that people either romanticize or downplay in terms of the Bible. Disclaimer: they might be totally unrelated to the topic.

So yeah. A month-long series arrives once again. Yay or nay? 

Not that it matters...because I know y'all LOVE reading this thing. 

raising kingdom workers

God loves you.

God loves you.

God? Yeah, He loves you.

God loves you.

I heard this repeated to me throughout the three-day retreat my church had this past weekend. Yes, there were other themes and messages, but this one just resonated within me so much. Why was it that this was so?

Because of its simple truth. There are images of God being wrathful and smiting sinners. But that is not the God that I know, or the God that I want to know. And I need this God, the only one who can truly love me no matter what. No matter how lame I am, how awkward I am, or how ridiculously gross I look with glasses, PJs, and bags under my eyes. God doesn't have a type. God isn't intimidated, taken aback, bored, uncomfortable by/with me. God doesn't play favorites, God doesn't leave me out, God welcomes me wanting to know Him more. 

God loves me.

And He has the capacity to love billions and billions of people, unlike me. He is able to give me 100% of his love, not a sliver, not 1/6,000,000 of his love.

And I no longer have to feel alone. I no longer have to feel like I have to love first and always be nice and smiling and welcoming and cool and qualified to receive attention, affection, and love. Because God does that freely.

That was my revelation. And though I felt empty for a good portion of the retreat, that truth is with what God filled me up.

God loves me. God loves you. God is love.