nice try

I think I really realized for the first time today that it's funny, practically downright hilarious, how the enemy prods at the places that will hurt me the most and opens old wounds. It's like he thinks that by doing so, I will somehow despair enough to give up on God and what I know to be true about Him. But like I said, it's funny, because where else do I have to go but to Him when I despair? Where else do I have to go but to Him to be healed? Where else do I have to go but to Him to find hope again? The more he tries to get at me, the more he drives me straight into His arms. Nice try, punk, but let me refer you to Romans 8:38-39.

This week was tough - it resurfaced old, recurring insecurities and sometimes my mind was so loud with thoughts and overthoughts that I couldn't bear to do anything more than just stare blankly and feel my heart shrivel up and burn up simultaneously inside me. (Geez, that sounds kind of intense, but just being honest here.) But today, today was so freeing. 

Today, I felt reassured that He has not forgotten me. He has not once taken His eyes off of me. He has always and will always desire and provide the best for me. His peace is so complete and so simple and so loving. He is more, He is greater, He is God. 

1 John 3:20: "…whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything."

Psalm 73:26: "My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Today, I felt more courage inside of me than I have felt in a long time. By His grace, I will emerge from all of this victorious.