the helper

At the request of an older sister with whom I met up this past week, I took the Enneagram test, not expecting very much--I wasn't sure what it was supposed to show, and I certainly didn't know why this sister asked me to take it prior to our meet-up.

When I first got the results, I thought, oh, that's interesting, seems fairly accurate, but they didn't linger with me.  And when I shared my results with the sister and she reacted with certain observations, I thought, oh, that's interesting, but again, they didn't linger with me.

But then as I was trying to sleep today, I randomly got curious and ended up googling more descriptions of my main type: Type 2, the Helper.  And I have to say, after piecing together the slightly different descriptions on various websites, I have goosebumps from how ridiculously insightful the personality type is (and how, in particular, it makes sense of the sentiments expressed in my most recent blogpost). 

Here are some long soundbytes from a few websites:

• "Being generous and going out of their way for others makes Twos feel that theirs is the richest, most meaningful way to live."
• "When Twos are healthy and in balance, they really are loving, helpful, generous, and considerate. . . .  They enliven others with their appreciation and attention, helping people to see positive qualities in themselves that they had not previously recognized.  In short, heathy Twos are the embodiment of the 'good parent' that everyone wishes they had: someone who seems them as they are, understands them with immense compassion, helps and encourages with infinite patience, and is always willing to lend a hand--while knowing precisely how and when to let go."
• "Transformational work entails going into dark places in ourselves . . . .  Perhaps the biggest obstacle facing Twos . . . in their inner work is having to face their underlying Center fear of worthlessness.  Beneath the surface, [Twos] fear that they are without value in themselves, and so they must be or do something extraordinary in order to win love and acceptance from others.  In the average to unhealthy levels, Twos present a false image of being completely generous and unselfish and of not wanting any kind of pay-off for themselves, when in fact, they can have enormous expectations and unacknowledged emotional needs."
• "The problem is that 'putting others first' makes Twos secretly angry and resentful, feelings they work hard to repress or deny."
• "Twos find it hard to say no to anyone.  They can't risk being unworthy of love.  They will adapt and change what they need to, to earn approval.  They have no concept of personal boundaries.  They are so wrapped up in other people that they can't tune in to their own feelings.  It's not unnatural to see Two going through an emotional outburst to get some relief.  It's hard to repress your own needs to avoid looking needy, and maintain a capable and helpful image.  This repression can lead to burnout, resentment, and emotional exhaustion. . . .  Once they realize that they will never get the love and appreciation they deserve, even after all their efforts, that's when Twos can come undone."
• "A bit like emotional sponges, Twos have to be very careful what they absorb from the people around them."
• "Why are people not honest about how they feel? This is [Two's] constant question.  And she will try to open your heart by noting and pointing out the good things about you, since you seem to have fogotten how lovable you are.  Not to make you feel better.  What she wants is that you dare to be honest, honest about your emotions. . . .  She will also point out to you the ways in which you are not being kind to yourself.  Because she finds it very painful to watch people be harsh, unkind, insensitive or unjust to themselves.  She notices how this keeps your heart closed, unavailable."
• "She feels trustworthy and a Two wrongly assumes that people who do not open up to her don't see her as trustworthy."
• "A Two knows right away exactly what they feel about a person, so from a Two point of view, everyone else is too slow getting it."
• Re: What's Hard About Being a Two-- "not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish, criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should, . . . working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings"
• Re: Twos as Children--"are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism, try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding, are outwardly compliant"
• Re: How to Get Along with a Two-- "Give assurance that you value them even if they do nothing for you.  Take an interest in them for a change.  Be gentle when you criticize."

Reading through some of these websites, I felt . . . understood.  I also felt challenged because these analyses also help put into perspective some of what I need to sort out with God.  So, in the end, I suppose this was not merely an entertaining/"interesting" exercise after all.