the 21st century male

warning: may not be very politically correct. 

So a friend of mine in high school recently came to me with some grievances. He said that there was this kid that was constantly pestering/mocking/judging him by asking if or commenting that he was gay. (note: this friend is most definitely straight.) And because this kid has been keeping up the annoyances, it has started to take a toll on his peace of mind. What to do? he asked. 

Now let me just put it out there that I don't particularly feel comfortable with or approve of the homosexual lifestyle, for personal reasons. It's the same thing as people who are tired of blacks or African-Americans (or whatever politically-correct term people prefer to use these days) "playing the race card" or Jewish people "playing the Holocaust card" or Christian people "playing the righteous card." But seriously, the whole using-"gay"-as-a-funny-snide-adjective is getting old. Especially to someone who is not so. And especially when used in an adamant context that gives away that you believe that person is gay when actually he is not.

I'll be the first to admit that I have used it in the past to refer to a situation or person that is not sitting right with me, but then again, aren't all disapproving words derogatory in a way? (e.g. "retarded", "lame", "stupid") I'll also be the first to admit that I've had my fair share of being wholly misjudged. In high school, I was asked at least three times if I was lesbian. And that was unsettling and hurtful to me at first, because I definitely am not; seriously, if you ever ask for my life story, I've had way too many crushes (on guys obviously) over the years. But why be unsettled and hurt? The only reason why I should be is if I actually am but I've been trying to hide it from the world. There are only two kinds of people that are self-confident in this situation: those who are homosexual and don't care what the world thinks of them and those who are heterosexual and know this fact through and through. I am the latter, so I don't care what anyone thinks or says to me any more. And I didn't think my friend should either.

The thing about people who persistently ask things like that is that they're a) uneducated and ignorant, b) lacking a real sense of humor, and/or c) uncomfortable with some aspect of their victims' characters/behaviors in relation to their own. And by c), I mean that anything that gives away "too much" embracing of "feminine" interests/norms is either bothersome or just plain confusing. 

But in the 21st century - quite different from even the 20th century - men can go about being attracted to women, becoming doctors and lawyers and businessmen, and playing (or at least watching) macho sports and action movies while simultaneously taking care of some household duties, making sure they are dressed well, and enjoying good literature. In fact, having a heightened sense of their "feminine" side is more advantageous to the new renaissance man of modern day. 

Same thing applies to women: women who are matronly, appearance-conscious, and masters of the kitchen now strive to also be well-informed political participants and activists, sports fanatics, video game enthusiasts, and math-and-science experts so that they can be taken more seriously by the still male-dominant societies of today. Surely not all women need to love high heels and bake cakes, and just because a woman likes to take charge and throw out intelligent ideas and improvements doesn't mean that she must be a lesbian. 

The thing is, we're starting to blur the lines between traditionally male and female roles. Being homosexual doesn't necessarily mean this; to me, it means embracing the opposite gender roles in the body into which you were born. So these things are two totally different concepts. But why can't some youth just get this?

So come on, you manly math majors who have no time for frivolous things like the classics, cooking, and fashion. You're one step behind if you're just going to think like that.