And I guess one day as I was looking for recipes on green tea cookies or the like back sometime in Winter '09, I stumbled upon the blog milkandhoneycafe.blogspot.com and I really liked the cuteness and straight-forwardness of the blog, not to mention the author is a Korean, Christian female who has a sharp eye for aesthetics. She doesn't update too frequently anymore (I suppose life caught up with her), but through her blogroll, I also came to yvonne-wong.com/blog/, a wedding photography blog that I love catching up with every once in a while. (It seriously brightens up my day sometimes haha)
On a random whim today, I decided to browse through the milk&honey lady's blogroll again and I came to geehaejeong.com/blog/, another wedding photography blog, who I'm guessing is friends with the milk&honey lady (okay, her real name is Sarah, but it just feels weird typing that out, so maybe we'll refer to her as S from now on). She (let's call her G) too is Korean and Christian, and it was when I was reading her post on the Brooke Fraser concert she attended that it hit me that I was a super-creep.
Why am I a super-creep? Because I feel like I know these ladies even though chances are, unless I ever contact either of them for their businesses in the future (S is a baker specializing in cupcakes, G is a wedding/engagement photographer), I will never meet them. It just seems like we have similar interests, similar senses of humor...I could see us being friends in real life (although I suppose we are a few years apart in age). But I honestly think the connection is even stronger because I know that both of them are Christian. It's like we're all part of something bigger that binds us together even though they won't ever find this blog (I think) and even though they both live in far-away-land Canadia. (Well, I guess it's not just "it's like" - more like "it is").
I will admit that sometimes I hesitate to "publicize" my blog (i.e. via social media or letting people know in person). In some ways, it's because I feel like the things I write on here are pretty personal - my random musings, the inside jokes or thoughts, even photos of those I love, I don't like the idea of it being all up and available through Google searches and linked on sites that I have no relations to. (You could say that I am somewhat of an Internet privacy control freak, only in the sense that I am very aware of all my privacy settings on everything.) On the other hand, I think I often hesitate because my entries are blatantly Christian, and I guess I'm afraid that they'll just come off as preachy or too happy-go-lucky instead of just straightforward and sincere — especially to my non-Christian friends from high school. I'm sure if any of them read my blog now, there'd be a lot of "What happened to Sarah?"s...and while that's nothing to be afraid of, (and I suppose I should actually be that much more unabashed to publicize it on Facebook or something), I think I'm just worried it will continue making me unapproachable to the people I used to consider near and dear to my heart. I'm also hesitant to ever mention it in interview settings and the like, just because if the person gets curious enough to ask what the web address is, I don't know if they'd like what they find on here.
Plus, it's not like my blog has a particular theme/attraction to it — I don't share my insights on sports or fashion or baking or politics, but just my thoughts on things occurring in my everyday life and spiritual walk. I'll admit I've had some "awkward" entries where I start off talking about something secular and then it ends up being totally spiritual. (I'll also admit that I've shied away from overtly vulnerable/angsty entries simply because I don't feel like the Internet is the best place to air all your woes and emotional ups&downs...but I guess that has given some the impression that I have everything perfectly in order and that I am a put-together, inaccessible robot or something). Anyway, maybe this is good enough for my friends, especially the safe&enclosed social circle we call GCC, but in the greater interwebz scheme of things, it's nothing too special.
So...I guess the point is, it's encouraging to know that there are sisters like S and G who have these God-given talents and passions who are not only making their names/blogs/products&services known, but they're also making their faith known. And maybe it's fine that I don't make a big deal about my blog, because after all, the only thing I'm offering on here is my random collection of reflections and I am definitely not any sort of voice of authority on anything haha...but I do hope that if the occasion does arise to perhaps evangelize through this blog, or at least make someone think, I won't hesitate to take it.
BTAS has come a long way since its humble (or perhaps not-so-humble, being the noob-er freshman that I was) beginnings in Fall '08 and I can't believe that I am already in the middle of my junior year spring break week writing this...man. While I can think of a handful of instances where it's been clear, it really does make me wonder what kind of impact (if any) this blog has had over the past couple of years. I guess all I can do is just keep writing, even if no one's reading! Because if anything, I can very clearly see God's fingerprints all over my life just by skimming a few of my old entries and recognizing where I am now in relation to me then.
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