leah, beloved

Thanks to a tweet by this lady the other day — "Isaac ♥ Rebekah and Jacob ♥ Rachel, ah God is a true romantic! :)" — I (naturally, in my partly cynical but mostly contemplative ways,) started thinking about Leah's story. Poor unloved Leah.

Here is what Scripture says:

Genesis 29

16 Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. 17 Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful. 18 Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.”

19 Laban said, “It’s better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me.” 20 So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.

21 Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to lie with her.”

22 So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. 23 But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and gave her to Jacob, and Jacob lay with her. 24 And Laban gave his servant girl Zilpah to his daughter as her maidservant.

25 When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?”

26 Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. 27 Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.”

28 And Jacob did so. He finished the week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wife. 29 Laban gave his servant girl Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her maidservant. 30 Jacob lay with Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.

Jacob’s Children

31 When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. 32 Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”
33 She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the LORD heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon.

34 Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi.

35 She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the LORD.” So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.

I'm not sure I remember what my very first reaction was to the very first time I heard or read this story, but I'm guessing it was probably divided between rooting for Jacob (tricksy Laban separating him from the one he loves) and feeling sorry for the two sisters, who basically had to compete for both Jacob's love and their value as women (ie. who will produce more and/or better babies?) for a good portion of their lives. But coming across this story again a few days ago made me think less about Jacob & Rachel's most awesome love story (yeah, he totally worked his butt off for, as one pastor called him, "the greatest con-man in the Bible" to marry the woman he loved! props) and more about the apparent "third wheel" of this great romance.

What we know about Leah from these verses is the following:

1) She had "weak eyes" - other translations say delicate or lovely, but the word "weak" for me suggests that there was some kind of deficiency there, whether it was just that she needed some glasses or she had sensitive eyes. And that's all the physical description we get for her, because then we find out that her younger sister is the one who got all the good genes and thus toootally stumbles Jacob.

2) She was made to deceive Jacob by her father, Laban - I wonder what she actually thought about the whole ordeal, whether she was forced or whether she had fallen in love with Jacob at some point before...not that it matters, since she would have had to obey her father regardless.

3) She was unloved by Jacob - sure, it says that Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah, but God sees that she was not loved, so we're just gonna roll with: she was unloved by Jacob. And again, did Leah love Jacob? Maybe. Probably? But what's important is that whether she did or not, she still tried to earn his love and still suffered from his apathy.

4) She gives birth to four sons in a row - dude, especially in those times, this was marital GOLD. But did Jacob end up giving her the attention and affection she so desired? Nah.

So reading this, my heart really broke and hurt for Leah. It made me question God's love for this daughter - how could He let this happen? Why was Rachel so favored? (I mean, as if it isn't enough that Jacob is gaga about her...she goes on to give birth to THE Joseph, who becomes mad ballin in Egypt and saves the rest of his brothers/family later on, nbd) Did Leah just live a loveless life for the rest of her days, simply comforted by the fact that she was a successful baby-making machine?

While stewing on behalf of Leah, I got to talk it out with others who had better perspectives on this story. Points like, "without Leah's sons, there might not have been the 12 tribes of Israel", or "without Laban's scheme, it's possible that Leah might not ever have been able to marry because of her 'weak' eyes", got me acknowledging that I have no right to question the soundness of God's plans. But the bottom line is, God definitely loved Leah and hurt for Leah and sought to encourage Leah. And though I didn't see it a few days ago, revisiting the passage again today makes me see that she wasn't just aware of this love (which you can tell from the names she gives her first three sons), but she found joy in this love.

It bothers me that she continually seeks approval from Jacob. (Seriously...every time she names a child out of thanksgiving and then doesn't get the love she desperately desires, I feel like jumping into the Bible and punching Jacob.) But I'm also encouraged that by her fourth son, Judah, she is able to say, "This time I will praise the LORD." Of course, she's human, and once Rachel starts the whole baby war in Chapter 30, Leah's back to pining for Jacob's affections, but it's good that there is even this brief moment in which Leah can stop to acknowledge God's faithfulness and praise Him for His enduring love. And I think you can see that this was the answer that God wanted from Leah all along by the way she momentarily stops having children after this fourth child.

As PA pointed out to me, Jacob never really stops playing favorites - he overly loves Joseph and thus scars the rest of his sons, who are so deeply hurt that they plot to kill this favored brother (luckily, Leah never attempted to kill Rachel...that would have been the bad deals). Jacob was human. His capacity to love was human-sized and the magnitude of his love was also human-sized. But Leah (and yes, Jacob and Rachel too) was loved with a love that was God-sized. The size that enables God to so love the world that He would send His one and only Son to die for us — we who can barely love our families and friends enough in all the ways that they deserve.

There have been times, especially in the last few years, where I've said to God in a fit of anxiety or disappointment or anger, "Your love isn't enough." I know that it's there for the taking, but it's just not enough in the face of x, y, and z. It's not real enough to me right now, sorry. But recently, I've been made to look at the cross again and again and again.

"If it wasn't enough that My Son was pierced for your transgressions, crushed for your iniquities so that you might find peace and healing again...then what would be enough for you?"

Suddenly, a few sweet words and smiles from a man who only knows how to play favorites doesn't seem like such a big thing to miss out on, huh?

Leah was beloved. And so are we.