You're where i want to be

It's strange to think that as of right now, today was my second-to-last Sunday at GCC. Next week will be my last, and then the week after, instead of being at church, I'll have to be at the Communication graduation ceremony. 

It hit me pretty hard during service today, and it's sad to think that maybe God is calling me away from this community, telling me to go and use what I've learned here to bless others and grow elsewhere. I've had renewed hope in the last few weeks that maybe He'll let me stay here, but in the event that I'm wrong (because sometimes I'm wrong about certain convictions/"convictions") — this is the final countdown.

I'll admit that I'm scared. I'll admit that I'm no longer ready to move on from this place. I'll admit that I don't know if I'm following His voice because I'm not entirely sure I can hear it right now. In some ways, I'm asking for circumstantial evidence/confirmation just like Gideon, but what can I say? I am weak, I am faithless, but I want to believe. I want to believe that if I ask with faith, I can and will receive. But perhaps the question is, am I asking for the "right" thing? Has God already given me an answer to a different request, and I'm just blind to it at the moment, the same way I was at first blindly disappointed that I didn't get into my dream college of 13 years? 

All I know is that I want to be where He is, I want to see the things that He sees, I want to be a part of the things that He is doing. Where is that? I don't know. 

I don't know, but Lord, let me not go astray and let me be satisfied in You.