the remaining blossom

My, what beautiful blossoms we have this year. But look, this one's late. But I'll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all. [Mulan's Dad]

Ever since I watched the movie "Mulan" for the first time when I was 8 years old, this one statement by Mulan's dad always resonated with me because I firmly believed that I was that late blossom. And I think also because my own dad/mom said something along those lines too (or even referenced the movie haha). So I've always loved this quote from the movie because it gives me hope that God is steadily working in me until I finally "blossom." Unless...I have already blossomed without my consent or knowledge...then I would be very sad. LOL

But anyway, what does being a late bloomer mean? Back in elementary school, I only really heard "late bloomer" in reference to the stages of puberty - some girls became more voluptuous immediately (circa age 11) and other girls (the late bloomers) wouldn't until they were 16 or something. Or maybe even in terms of social awkwardness - some girls would not be all that popular and kind of awkward all throughout middle school but then blossom into kind spirits and sweet demeanors later on in life and be beloved by many.

As I get older, I realize that being a late bloomer for me means that I am a little bit slow in figuring myself out and feeling comfortable in my own skin again — whether it be in terms of being honest about my character and my sins, determining what I will be and do in life, or finding peace that God has set apart someone very special for me (He just hasn't revealed him to me yet). I even have a fortune cookie that attests to this: "You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily." Though I don't really like that it uses the word "settle" (with the connotation of settling for less), it does make sense - I am waiting to settle into a joyful tranquility where I am confident of who I am and where I'm headed.

Of course, I'm definitely not trying to say by being a self-proclaimed last blossom that I will be "the most beautiful of all", but I am indeed hoping that when my time (aka God's spot-on timing) comes along, things will fall into place so clearly and wonderfully that I will feel like it's perfect and the most beautiful thing I could have ever asked for.

I'm looking forward to it!

P.S. I am sorry for neglecting BTAS in favor of my easier-to-update but harder-to-write-good-stuff 468poetry haha :)