sailboat sarah

Today, during service, P. Young prayed for me. And it was so awesome because I really had been needing it all semester long, and when God spoke to me through him, it was exactly what I needed to hear. I heard a lot of great things, which I won't repeat here just cuz it's too public of a space, but all you have to know was that they really addressed everything I had been feeling/piling up throughout the past few months.

I went back to my seat and started praying individually, and I started getting an image...it was a very stark white triangle. And as I tried to focus more on what that triangle was, I started getting an image of a sailboat on the waters. The sailboat was beautiful and white, and it was rocking back and forth, riding the waves. And at that moment, I felt like God was saying to me: Sarah, you are a sailboat. You have a sail that you can use to either harness the wind — that's me, God — or you can fail to use it the right way, and you will be tossed around on the sea. But whether you go with the wind that I provide or you push against it, you will end up going the direction I want you to go in no matter what because you can't fight the wind. And trust me, I will take you places.

And I think what made me feel so at peace about this was not only the fact that God is the wind and that He's going to be the driving force behind me no matter what but also the fact that He promised that He is going to take me places greater than what I can map out in my own mind. I'm afraid of growing up to become just a complacent, socially/financially well-off Christian raising children and working hard at my job, and I wonder whether I'm actually going to be used "powerfully." But you know, I shouldn't live with that kind of fear, not if I believe that I shouldn't fear actually going out and doing something radical for Christ.

I'm not a cruise ship, I'm not a submarine, I'm not even a motor-powered boat. But even as a small sailboat so easily tossed to and fro by the waters of this world, I am able to harness God's power if I just believe that it will take me places.

not exactly the same boat in my vision, but you get the idea