happy birthday, BTAS!

I'll admit that I was a sentimental dork and marked off this date during the summer to remind myself to write a post. THREE YEARS OF BREAKING THE AWKWARD SILENCE! There's just something about this three year anniversary that makes it feel so monumental and worth noting. Perhaps it's because I know I started off this blog as a silly+naive (weren't we all?) freshman and here I am, writing as a big+bad (but mostly good?) senior. So much has happened in the last three years...and honestly, sometimes I cringe when I read super old entries because I can so clearly hear the immaturity of my freshman self aka my pedantic tendencies coming out (you know, with all that wisdom from high school...) I will probably say the same thing in three years about the me writing this entry now, but until then, I will be as immature and pedantic a college senior as I want.

This blog has meant so much to me over the past three years that it seems cheesy to try to describe my sentiments with words. After all, it's seen my cultural/Biblical/linguistic commentary, usually unfinished fiction+partly emo poetry, delirious venting, crazy revelations, musical obsessions, and my own personal work-in-progress story (among many other things). And the really funny thing is, I don't even think the title of the blog is relevant to its content at all anymore...awkward. But anyways, after reflecting on my trajectory as you've seen it on BTAS, I guess I can say two very simple statements:

1. Life moves on.

Many entries on this blog have been the result of in-the-moment thoughts+emotions. This is unsurprising, of course, considering that the nature of blogging is one of instantaneous sharing. But it's just funny to look back at some of the things I've written — my verbal snapshots, so to say — and though yes, a picture is worth a thousand words, a thousand words are worth a thousand words too, and some of these thousands of words have betrayed a lot of in-the-moment confusion, anxiety, heartbrokenness, discouragement, helplessness. And yet others have captured sheer excitement and joy and passion, in all their exclamation points and caps-lock glory. Which helps me to see once again the truth of the statement, this too shall pass. The hours I dreaded with worry, the hours I anticipated with excitement, they have all come to pass. Life is constantly moving forward towards the ultimate end we see in Ephesians 1, so in the meantime, we should be moving too, unencumbered by a particular situation or setback, because life moves on.

2. Life is exciting. (Or rather, Life is exciting!)

Sure, life is exciting because there are always new things to see, do, feel, learn, etc. Even if I go through a pretty routine schedule, no two days will be alike, even if for the sole reason that the weather is different. But the bigger reason why life is so exciting is because every day, whether good or bad, I am one step closer to being the woman God has designed for me to be and one step closer to realizing the plan God has for my life. This blog has been somewhat of a map of all these footprints. And while it's fun to be able to look back at my journey so far, I'm glad that this blog will be around (at least for the next seven months) to record more of it (and all its exciting moments!) in the future. 

I don't know what else to add to this terribly self-indulgent celebration of my blog's existence except maybe say thank you to anyone who has ever taken the time to read all this craziness and sign off with a fun song/music video :)