the break up

Dear Herodotus,

Hi love. I just wanted you to know that after reading 626 pages of your letter to me, you know, the one that talks about the history circa 8th-6th century BC of the Greeks and every "barbarian" nation that you knew of at the time, I think I can't move forward in this relationship.

You're very dry. And too biased-but-you-try-to-seem-objective. And you talk about oracles of Apollo and Zeus and Athena and visions way too much - that really conflicts with my core Christian beliefs. And you go on so many tangents...I heard from one of our mutual friends (you know, my TA?) that that's called "pendant story-telling." But I just think that you can't really commit to one story, and that makes me doubt how much I can trust you.

The thing about a relationship is, you can't be too time-consuming. And I can't always be worrying about you, because the truth of the matter is, I have to live my own life too. I'd like you to be there for me when my eyes get tired, but you know, you're never available. I feel like we live in different worlds, different times.

But you know, in the end...it's not you. It's me. I just can't handle your archaic thoughts and fascination with cannibalism. So...I guess this is goodbye, for now. Maybe if I can be a little bit more loving and a little bit more determined to make things work out between us, we can try to pull through the last 100 pages. I really do want to know you. But I'm sorry. Be well. Don't rot.


Love,
Sarah