freedom

"I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. 

You shall have no other gods before me. 

You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I the LORD your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.  

You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain. 

Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy, as the LORD your God commanded you.  Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God.  On it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant, or your ox or your donkey or any of your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates, that your male servant and your female servant may rest as well as you.  You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the LORD your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm.  Therefore the LORD your God commanded you to keep the Sabbath day. 

Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you. 

You shall not murder. 

And you shall not commit adultery. 

And you shall not steal. 

And you shall not bear false witness against your neightbor. 

And you shall not covet your neighbor's wife.  And you shall not desire your neighbor's house, his field, or his male servant, or his female servant, his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's."  (Deut. 5:6-21)

In a recent sermon that I heard, the pastor asked: what do you think is the commonality between these ten commandments?  What is the underlying theme of the Ten Commandments?

The thought that came to my mind right away was Jesus' so-called summary of the Ten Commandments, where Jesus says: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment.  And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets." (Matt. 22:37-40).  So, the underlying theme must be LOVE.   (But you all know that LOVE must not be it because I already wrote a blog post about it earlier this week lol.)

The pastor posited: the commonality is freedom.  Sure, on the surface, they're a set of rules, so they read like restrictions-- don't worship other gods.  Don't murder.  Don't steal.  Don't covet your neighbor's high-class donkey that's a little faster and a little smarter than your donkey.  But these commandments were not intended to box His people in; they were to free them from all of the unseen, internal constraints that would result if they did not obey.

You could read the intro (v.6) as a declaration of God's mighty power: I am the LORD, your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt.  Egypt!  Where chariots are bigger, horses are faster, weapons are aplenty.  Yes, from there is where the Lord (God Almighty!) brought His people out.  But perhaps another equally important reminder is: I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.  And because you are no longer slaves, abide by these commandments and live the fullest life in your newfound freedom.

The Lord is interesting like that.  He always defies our expectations of what we think is proper or fair... or free.  And His ways are always higher than our ways, so we can't even really begin to understand Him until and unless we take the time to abide in Him and become more conformed to His ways.

But the Lord is teaching me something else interesting these days-- what it means to really desire that conformity until I no longer even notice that I am conforming, but rather, I am just living freely in His ways.

There are many "rules" that I have been taught over the years, especially growing up in the church, and being a naturally very obedient child, I have had no problem simply obeying without questioning or resisting.  (If they ever gave out trophies for Most Obedient Child, I think mine would be a lot bigger than yours... and I'd be the reigning champion for decades.)  I don't think I feel forced into obedience at least 95% of the time-- I think I'm just hardwired that way.  I don't like confrontation, I don't like disappointing others, I don't like criticism, I don't like being wrong.  Therefore, I obey with the confidence that I am aligning myself with what is right and good, as well as staying on the good side of all authority figures.  It is part self-preservation, part pride, part sheer desire to keep the peace.

But a few major bumps in this road of faith have made me realize how shallow that obedience can be-- it's like I was operating on autopilot, and when a gust of wind from an unexpected place came my way, I suddenly tried to fly in a wobbly line between the autopilot route and the route that the gust of wind wanted me to take, constantly fretting that I should be going the autopilot route but secretly desiring to keep going on my own way, this new way, with the wind.

It was that "secret" desire to be free to do whatever I want that I failed to acknowledge within myself for a very long time.  And indulging in that desire away from the Lord's gentle guidance was not freeing at all, but very constraining.

As we become adults, there are fewer people telling us what to do and what to choose, and there are fewer clear lines about what is absolutely right and what is absolutely wrong in more and more situations.  And so, knowing the ways in which I have failed to exercise my freedom properly, I have felt trapped and unable to move forward at times because I am fearful about making the "wrong" choice and doing the "wrong" things and somehow disobeying the Lord without even realizing that I'm disobeying.

The Lord seems to find this cute-- which is beyond me.  So He's been crafting situations and decisions where I am suddenly faced with the choice of being immobile with fear and anxiety or taking steps in faith and seeing where I end up.  And He says, isn't this fun?  And I say, this is Your idea of fun???

But He reassures me with this:  Beloved, I know you.  You know Me.  And you know what my rules are, my commandments and my character too.  I will not let you wander further away beyond my boundary lines, so run freely.  Explore.  Fall down.  Get up.  Live life fully knowing also that if you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

It's all very scary to take in sometimes, and I still doubt whether I am hearing Him correctly when He says: Beloved, do whatever you want!  It seems so unlike the Lord that I have known for so long-- not that He has been a stern Father who dictates my every move and shuts down all of my ideas and requests, but I have often seen Him as an amplified version of my earthly parents.  If they're worried about me taking a road trip with friends, how much more worried is the Lord about pretty much everything else that I do on a daily basis, given that He sees all and knows all?  (Not that... God actually worries about anything lol)  But I feel more and more sure as time goes on that I am not misinterpreting Him.  He really wants me to just do whatever I want, and He'll take care of the rest.

Perhaps it is a lesson in honesty and vulnerability in addition to a lesson in freedom.  Perhaps it is a lesson in utter surrender.  Perhaps it is a lesson in abiding.  Whatever it might turn out to be, this I know to be true-- I am safe.  There is safety in His commands; there is safety in His freedom.  And there is joy!  The kind of joy that rings out when a shout of "FREEDOM!!!" erupts from a weary soul that has now found release.

I suppose we shall see.