a surprise lesson

As I was reflecting on my lessons from this year, I came to a crazy realization about my biggest lesson, even though it has been staring me in the face all year long.

Let me preface my story and say straight up that the biggest lesson that I've learned this year (and something that I need to continue to work on in the coming years) has been that I need to trust God more. Actually, no. That I need to put all my trust in God, because He loves me and cares for me more than I can fathom.

Simple enough lesson, right? People are always saying that about their spiritual lives - it ranks right up there with 1) I need to love God more and 2) I need more wisdom. But somehow, I feel because it is such a "cliched" Christian dilemma/lesson, I blocked it out whenever someone told me to do so. I know that I should trust God more, I know. You don't have to shove it in my face all the time. Yeah, and don't tell me to pray about it, because I know I should. But to actually do so? That's really tough.

So, let me switch gears for a second and say that wisdom comes in the most unusual forms sometimes...and that sometimes you don't even realize it until you finally hit a certain critical point.

So, one of my friends this year has always laughed off my dilemmas and issues and worries by constantly telling me, "It's okay :)". And for me, someone who needs things to be in control or things to have a practical solution, that drove me crazy all year. Why is it that all he could say to me all year was "It's okay :)"?! With that ridiculous smiley face emoticon all the time?! (And for those who know who I'm talking about, I'm sure you've struggled with it at times too.) And while I was freaking out about summer housing, I asked him for the umpteenth time, How is it that you can always just brush things off and say that it's all okay when it's obviously not at the moment? And then something amazing came out of his brain:

"In the grand scheme of everything, everyday problems are soooo trivial. It's fine to worry a bit and get things done and such. But to invest so much energy and thought into it is a waste of that energy and time because above all things, God is sovereign, and He cares for those He loves, and He is always faithful, even if you don't see it in the present. That's why things will turn out okay. :)"

I just sat back in awe for about 10 seconds because it was like this whole year, which was always full of those "It's okay :)"s, was finally brought to fruition. It finally made me realize that God had been subliminally saying that through him to assure me that if I just put my trust in Him, everything will work out in the end. And the fact that it was revealed in this way through that person in that situation was just ridiculous, because I know that I have been hearing this lesson over and over again from different people. But for some reason, that explanation in that moment made the most sense to me and actually hit me hard enough for me to actually absorb the message, rather than brush it off, saying that I already knew.

And thinking about that, it also made me realize another unusual medium through which God has been consistently telling me every chance He gets that He will handle everything: the phrase, "Don't worry," in a retardedly thick Asian accent, courtesy of another friend. Our class at church has slowly adopted the phrase without even stopping to really think about it. Sure, it sounds funny, and sure, it's easy to say in any situation for comedic effect, but honestly? That phrase, "Don't worry" is just kind of ridiculous. Why shouldn't we worry? If we let go, how can we be so sure that we will be able to continue living a prosperous life? But you know, we need to let go in order to let God to take control. Which leads me to another thing that I've seen more often than I realized - the phrase "Let go & let God" which currently appears on the screen of another friend's phone. Isn't this all just sick? It's like as the year wraps up, all these different messages that I've seen and heard so consistently and never really thought about are suddenly becoming so salient in my mind.

It seriously does not matter any longer what I know because it's all in His hands anyway. So maybe I should stop being prideful and actually listen to those around me, and more importantly, Him.

So yeah. In light of those lessons, I have two verses/passages (how long can a verse be until it's considered a passage...? lol) that I want to share from this year - they too are "cliched", but I think there's a reason why they're so popular:

(This one was from yet another friend earlier this year)

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

...

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:25-27, 33-34)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Crazy.

*edit:

I forgot(!) a crucial part - the fact that "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman is like my obsession right now. :)