the "l" word

This summer, the day we arrived in Paris, we headed straight to the Louvre. We stayed until closing time and then took a minute to sit by the fountains outside. It was crazy crowded, but it was nice to just take in the cooler night air and enjoy the warm glow of the iconic pyramid all lit up for our viewing pleasure.

I saw these two wading in, and for that single moment, I saw the reason why some might predictably call Paris the city of love - because the way they were pushing each other around and laughing was one of those things I thought I only saw in movies. (The Eiffel Tower was too chaotic to be considered romantic, and I hate French food, so not too impressive there either.) The action seemed so spontaneous and so synchronized at the same time, like one of those things that you just do, knowing the other person will go with you - not because you agreed upon some plan of a perfect romantic evening with candles and pasta galore.

And you know, who knows if these two are still together? They might have been on their honeymoon, so maybe they're getting ready to spend their first holiday season with their combined families - or it might have been just a summer fling, so they will never encounter one another again.

But either way, I want to focus on this notion of love.

Love is not what you find in romantic comedies - it's not represented by these two people. Love isn't about diamonds or chocolates. It isn't about doing things for the other person and it isn't about saying the right words at the right time. Love isn't about the way someone looks at you or how holding his or her hand makes you feel. Love isn't about just you and the other person.

Love, like the precarious way he's holding her, is scary sometimes. The word signifies so much understanding, so much trust, so much commitment. It has the power to change, the power to shake. It seems to be beyond human understanding - if we understood it fully, we wouldn't have hundreds of thousands of interpretations in literature and music and movies, Hallmark cards and holidays.

But love, like the water in the fountain, is also refreshing. The word can mean freedom; it can mean acceptance. It covers over our deficiencies and mistakes. It comes to define who we are - who we love and who loves us are interesting measures of the person we've become.

Now knowing this, it wouldn't be a surprise to know that God is love. He scares us sometimes - if loving is obeying Him, if loving is trusting Him, if loving is living our lives for Him...we hesitate to love because we don't know if we can do all that. Because He seems like a distant being, we don't understand exactly how He can love us. But when His love surrounds us, how awesome is it? To know that even if we feel small and unimportant, broken and betrayed, ugly and fat (especially after Thanksgiving dinner) - He still loves us the same?

And for that, this year, my thanksgiving is all about how I am so incredibly thankful for His love. His love has done miracles in my life, and I have seen it shaping other people's lives as well. I can only hope to love Him more with each passing day as well.

Someone told me once, "Love is a choice." Even though you know that the other person falls short in certain ways and that certain personality differences will get in the way sometimes, you choose to look past these things and love that person anyway.

But question - does God really choose to love us? Yes, He chose us as His children, as His beloved ones, but perhaps it is His very nature - the fact that He is love - that makes His love so perfect, so unfailing. Because sometimes we regret our choices, sometimes we change our choices - but God can't do that at all. "If we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself." (2 Timothy 2:13) He can't deny the way He is, so why do we?

I guess it's a little early for resolutions, but for me, I want to stop choosing to love God and start loving Him just because it's ingrained into my whole being. I think sometimes I get in the mindset of "I need to love God more," thinking that it might involve more performance actions like praying more consistently or serving others more faithfully. But instead of trying to pinpoint what actions or words will please Him, I should just love. And continue to be thankful for His love.

I guess it's time to stop warily dipping my toes and just wade right in.