Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. (Romans 12:3)
These days, I don't think I have a problem with thinking of myself too highly (although I admit that that was a problem I had last year, and perhaps other years of my life.)
These days, I have much too many problems with thinking poorly of myself.
I've gotten so bad at talking about myself this semester. It comes off as me not wanting to share, but that's not true. It's more that I really just don't know what to say about my life. I'd rather listen to other people's issues and try to help them work through them by reminding them how much God loves them and how much I care for them - it helps me to keep my mind off of my own failures, shortcomings, and general issues. By being helpful to these people - to whom I thank for the opportunity to be there for them - I feel like I am useful in some way.
Yes, life is good.
Yes, God is good.
Yes, I know I am loved.
And even though I know these truths, all these negative thoughts in my mind cloud together.
Call me immature, call me faithless, but trust me, no one's more tired of my low self-esteem than me.
I know that if I keep this up, it will hurt the relationships I have with people.
I know that if I keep this up, it will hurt the relationship I have with God.
I need something more than a "No, Sarah. You're awesome :D" I need something more than just a head knowledge that how I'm feeling is wrong. I promise I'm not trying to be emo.
I need more than just me pulling myself up. I need Him so much, more and more each passing day.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7)
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4 comments:
LOL No, Sarah. You're awesome :D!
It's a little downer how maturity means feeling sadder about yourself (is it not?) Let's hope it equally matches with your yearning for God..!
Sarah, You're SUNSHINE, :D!
I guess maturity hits us all, but the most important thing is to have wonder and awe in God. In that sense, we are all little children in the eyes of the Lord, always smiling.
mm yeah this reminds me a lot about what p.young said, how humility isn't thinking badly of yourself but instead looking toward others and God.. i don't think we can ever really have true positive self-esteem without God, so i'll pray that you just keep seeking Him :)
thinking too highly about yourself... thinking too lowly about yourself... you're still thinking a lot about yourself!
think a lot about yourself highly or badly, secondarily.
primarily, as Jessie and you said, rest in Truth about how small you are and yet how highly and disproportionately loved you are by the creator.
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