changes: romancing the stone

Part 2 in the how-I've-changed series.

So, in high school, I thought I needed the quintessential high school boyfriend. The kind that would awkwardly come up to you after class and say, "Pick you up at 7?" The kind that would be your date to all the school dances. The kind that knew your favorite kind of chocolate and would sneakily get it into your locker (somehow) right before a test. The kind that would carry your books, hold the door open, lend you his jacket, and call you whenever he missed you.

But I never did end up having one. There were several instances where it could've happened, but I can say that I am infinitely glad that they never did. But even in January of this year, lasting up until sometime around April or something, I so lamented it never happening, especially when it came to prom season. 

Before coming to college, I made a pact with a friend that we would not date at all during freshmen year, so that we would be able to focus on academics and friendships first. And I'm happy to say that this pact is holding up very well (at least, for me it is, ha) and I'm totally fine with that. Only in this winter season am I starting to feel this void that needs to be filled with hot chocolate conversations and mitten-covered walks. But in all honesty, what I'm looking for now is vastly different from what I was looking for earlier this year.

In the beginning of the year, I just wanted the experience. As long as we had some mutual interests/priorities/attraction, it was okay. But now, I wouldn't mind being single for the next few years if that meant I could have a good solid first relationship. Something that's very special, and more importantly, God-sanctified. As cheesy as that sounds, and it's probably very exclusive and idealistic as well, but I want my first boyfriend to be rooted in his faith, because that just automatically gives us the most essential common ground. I never understood it before, why it was so important for some of my friends that their boyfriends be Christian, because that just seems like they're limiting their options, ha, but now I do. 

I also want to be guaranteed that it'll last for a long time. Not necessarily get married, because then that would be truly idealistic and pretty scary (one shot to pick your husband - go! Yeah...no.), but definitely something that isn't just a passing thing or an experiment/trial. I used to think it was natural to have like two or three boyfriends in college, but I think I subconsciously always thought that only one would be best. And some might credit that sort of mentality to the GCC Relationship Taboo Syndrome, but I think that's the way to go.

And if at the end of four years, there's still nothing, I think I'll be okay with it. My mom probably won't and might start mail-ordering husbands from Korea with future law/doctoral degrees...but seriously. It'll be fine, because I have faith that the right guy is out there.

Or perhaps already right under my nose. 

But these things take time, and I'm more patient now.